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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sonnet to Fantasydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 902
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 679



    Description:
       This one is not an easy read. It's worth reading it, though, if you are in a deep, sad, or thoughtful mood. It's about loving someone you can't have.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSonnet to Fantasydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I thought of you at 12'o'clock AM.
    The salty wisps of water in the air
    Reminded me you weren't one of them.
    A set of cotton daggers through your hair;
    The waning moment, just before you wake,
    To find yourself caressed by lover's hands,
    Unknown as yet the path you undertake;
    Yet love, like time, is passed in falling sands.
    I thought of you again as hours flew
    And salty wisps of water came to eye.
    This moment, I could tell, was made for you;
    Behind me, Aphrodite starts to cry.
    The key I used to lock the door to Hell:
    Denied to you, with all I can not tell.




    Submitted on 2005-06-10 08:08:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      And salty wisps of water came to eye...*droool* i love that line ...mmm heartbreak and longing ...tastes like honey to me ...This had an old style feel to me ..which i just love ...Very nice meaning ...and artistic flair to boot ...Good Job
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work here. Good use of the sonnet form and rhyme. Liked 'And salty wisps of water came to eye' very much; good line that.

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, it is a tough read. It took me about three reads to grasp the rhyme and pace(I'm a little slow) I enjoyed a lot of the piece, it had interesting metaphors and it was not overly done. I liked bringing Aphrodite into the poem, it gave it a nice touch that might not of otherwise been there. Good work! Dan
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job I really like this write, I mean there were some errors that i didn't like a lot but other than that it was wonderful. so THNX

    - Nammy

    it was great.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]


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