Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

I Am

Author: lenotoire
ASL Info:    32/F/Northern Michigan
Elite Ratio:    8 - 466 /177 /22
Words: 264
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1155
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1509


This is a new direction from what I'm used to. I hope it works out.

I Am

I am
The warm breeze which dries the dewdrops from the morn
The birds in flight through the endless skies of blue
The moon that floats above the stars, giving light to shadows
I am Nature.

I am
The cry of a newborn baby in the lap of his mother
The petals that bloom in the first signs of spring
The tiny puppy that rests in the arms of a smiling child
I am Life.

I am
The swelling of pride in the chest of a father on graduation day
The golden ring on the finger of a beautiful young bride
The slow steady tears on the cheeks of a heartbroken man
I am Love.

I am
The arms of a lover in the heat of an embrace
The colors on the canvas, coming to life at the hand of an artist
The feverish sigh on the lips, in the aftermath of a kiss
I am Passion.

I am
The ghost that waits in the darkness of the night
The clash of thunder in a storm filled sky
The dream that wakes you to sweat soaked sheets
I am Fear.

I am
The ashes of a fire, which had once burned brightly
The blade at the wrist of a broken hearted teenager
The grief of a mother, who has lost her only son
I am Death.

I am every emotion known to man,
I am every religion and race,
I am every word that has yet to be written.

For all who know me,
I am Poetry.

Submitted on 2005-06-10 15:13:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  the ending made this for me,i didnt expect that and it brought a lump to my throat,good descriptions of emotions and nicely put together,maybe only needed you to write I am at the beginning of the first one as i think that would have conveyed it through the rest anyway but awesome ending,i didnt expect that,i like some others thought it was going to be religious or i dunno something else.My favourite stanza is the one about passion,i liked the use of the artist to portray it as well as the obvious one.enjoyable and interesting read thanks
| Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by gd66uk | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm glad you managed to fit in all the main facets of writing, and breathing poetry as such.

I like how you started each stanza off with the words 'I am', and didn't plague us with those same words every line, which some people have done - which I proceeded to tell them to write at the start, like you did here. This I am grateful for, because after the third or fourth line of the same beginning, you glaze over those redundant words.

Well, I really can't critique this except to say that you wrote of all-encircling things, and came up with beautiful ways to illustrate your concepts.


| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
  THis is going on my favs list, this is great! SHockingly I didn't pick up on what this was about until the very last line, but it all works so well, and the examples for each emotion were perfect, good job.
Not much more I can say for this, it was wondeful.

| Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
  This one caught me by surprise too and it was a happy surprise. I was a bit afraid that we heading off on some quasi-religious thing that I was going to have to bow out of. Instead, we're brought to a subject obvoiusly dear to my heart, poetry. Nicely written.

I might drop a comma here and there; I think they're breaking your flow a bit. Also in the second stanza
"The tiny puppy, that rest in the arms of a smiling child" should be puppies or rests

Good job,
| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?