Silence by Oli

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Silence dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Oli
ASL Info:	20/F
Elite Ratio:	4.3 - 202/206/52
Words:	59

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	305
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	418

Description:
I won't describe this to you. You can probly guess yourself so tell me what this is about in your own veiw.

Silence

-------------------------------------------

Silence
right where it need not be
yet sweet in it's own innocence
thoughts form
and the silence
fades at last
words are spoken
shakey and unsure
yet smiles are shown
and a warmness fills
stomache slightly queezy
then silence finds it's way to the surface
and is welcomed
because words will be spoken again

Submitted on 2005-06-10 20:35:55 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  the spaces between silence and awkward words... many people are uncomfortable with silence. there is beauty in being able to sit in silence with someone. that's kind of what i got from this. very nice. thank you for sharing.
!Cat
| Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  THis one can use a little bit more detail it.
was good i would try some personal experiances and something that would make the reader fully feel how you did when you first wrote it, make you go through what you did just a little bit more.

This was a good write non the less, silence is the one thing that cant be explianed fully in words cause it is different to everyone. some people can enjoy there silence other despise it.
Ill check out your other writings
Keep up the good work

ACE
| Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
  Aw, so sweet. Makes me picture a couple sitting across from each other in a resturant on their first date, struggling to find conversation. I can't remember who it's by, but I love the quote, "True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." I have one friend like that. Silences no longer bother me. I really like that though. I think it'll be a favorite. Nice job.
| Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
  Like a new couple on their first date. The silence whilst they are nervous and think desparately of what to say. I like this piece. Serfcae should be surface. I enjoyed it

Kate xoxoox
| Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
  This was laid out nicely and is a perfect explination. The words you used to describle are simple yet true. Lying is also done with words... but also by silence heh.
| Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
  I always say Silence swallows the void but in the end we all speak. Actually I think that's my personal quote now. But anyway back to the poem, good write, not your best but still a great write. Didn't feel like a lot of emotion was put into it, some but not a lot. Ahh well I have no suggestions. Good luck.

Blessed Be!
| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.