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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Physique Techniquedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Amberdy
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 240/232/59
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 733



    Description:
       I really dont know what to say about this one....it was just a totally and completely random, spur of the moment write with no real meaning to it...although many ideas could probably come from it. So I guess just let me know what you think. Thanks.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPhysique Techniquedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sighed
    and tried
    to get you to need me,
    instead you deceive me
    for being naive.
    I swear I can't see
    the truth in those lines,
    the evidential signs
    that pointed you out
    gave you away without
    letting anybody know.
    There's nothing to show,
    and somehow you're still okay
    with all the wrong words to say.
    You wait for your big opporotunity
    to pack your bags up and leave
    this hand-crafted wasteland scene
    that you painted with your very own
    hand sown-
    insufficient-co-dependent-
    sugar-coated-somewhat-dented
    drowned-in-physiques-
    techniques.






    Submitted on 2005-06-10 23:12:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I start by truly loving the title and then the description.

    Stream of consciousness is actually a technique used in analysis. It can be very revealing if you look at the flow and transitions. I see poetry as its own form of therapy. It allows the writer to reveal his or her soul.

    I enjoyed reading this. In its lightness it reveals its own wisdom.

    being naive.
    I swear I can't see
    the truth in those lines,
    This is subtle but insightful. The line enforces the naivete.

    I stumble a bit at

    and somehow you're still okay
    with all the wrong words to say.

    Maybe?
    and somehow you're still okay
    despite the wrong words you say.

    May be just me. I'd like to rip though this grabbing the feelings as I go.

    Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey. thanks so much for your comment on "Physique Technique." You were the only one that took the time to comment, so I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you liked it. Still, I could not tell you what it is about...because I really dont know, lol.
    Thanks again.
    Amber
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]
      I am such a DORK...I did it again...I posted on the wrong frickin page! There has GOT to be a way to erase those...lol. When will I learn?
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]


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