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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Two lovesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Silver20G
    ASL Info:    28/M/Wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 158/109/25
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1144
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941



    Description:
       This is crazy right. Just do what you do. I hope you enjoy, but not relate I can tell you it's not pleasent to go through


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwo lovesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    On my path in life I come upon a divided road.
    Where three hearts beat where only two my go.
    I find myself trapped between the love in my past;
    and my possible future not knowing which will last
    So I go far away and pretend my pasts is not here,
    but when I sleep I hear her voice whispering in my ear.
    I have to stay away for one kiss is all it takes to get me hooked.
    One deep gaze in her starlit eyes will rewrite my life's book.
    For my future calls to and it is so inviting.
    Telling me to hold on and realize what might be.
    Furture tells me who I am is not who I were.
    When future says "I love you" I'd anything for her.
    Yet sometimes I lose control of my life;
    and past's embrace promises to make things right.
    Should I be what I become or better as I were.
    Thes are my two loves my past and my future.




    Submitted on 2005-06-11 09:55:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good! It flows well due to the rhyming, and the wording and adjectives were pretty good. There's a few spelling errors though, only minor ones, so be sure to proofread your future writings and fix the few mistakes in this.
    | Posted on 2006-11-02 00:00:00 | by Two Meters Away | [ Reply to This ]
      Humm I wonder how you came up with this...:) I love this a lot because it shows me how you really felt and although we both know the outcome of this poem, it reminds me of how hard it was going though it. This has happened to us twice and hopefully we got it right this time. To my favorite list this goes. Love your work
    | Posted on 2006-02-10 00:00:00 | by melody10977 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this alot. i can relate to this right now because i am having to choose between whether to go back to the life i had that i loved so much, or to continue with the way that i have changed. you did a very nice job with this
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by roxygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem and you have expressed your feelings well. I agree with you, its not the kind of situation anyone would want to be in but unfortunately I can relate. Except of course, my two loves were men.I learned, though, that there was a reason my past love didnt work out. There were reasons that I left that situation and I made the decision that I wasnt gonna make the same mistake twice. Not only that, but the guy I was with at the time deserved to be treated with respect, and I was ashamed that I even considered my past. Anyway, reading this put a smile on my face, not a happy smile, but a familiar one. Nice poem. Hope you made the right decision, whatever it may be for you. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. This is a great piece. You definitely captured how it is to be torn by two loves. The indecision, then the determination, and faltering, brilliant. I hope you chose the right path. I did.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-21 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the way you think and how you interpret it through your writings. Most of your work that I’ve read is “different” in comparison to other people’s, cause it’s not just about love and life and blah, blah, blah, it’s much more deeper.

    This poem really had me thinking. I read it a couple of times, but im not too sure, it can mean a lot of things I suppose, but my thoughts are that this future you’re referring to, is maybe the kind of work your doing now (maybe the Iraq thing you mentioned) and the past could be a girl you loved (still love)? If im right, im sure it must be an awful situation to be in. All I can say, you should go ahead and follow your dreams my friend, if this girl really loves you, she will be there when you get back.
    Loved it, here and there a small typing error, not even worth mentioning.

    Keep well and keep writing.

    Love Lee
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a nicwe poem and i honestly hope to read more outstanding work by you. this is and amazing piece keep it up.
    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was wonderful, it sounds as though your trying to decide between going back to the way you were or to completely change who you are. This also, as I see no one has yet mentioned, a love poem in a way, I love how you made it two different things at once...KIU
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by Siren Mengana | [ Reply to This ]


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