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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: spiderweb lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: andnow
    ASL Info:    19.f.wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 136/135/42
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 660
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 547



    Description:
       we are all a part of one life.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsspiderweb lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Our hearts are spider webs,
    woven with truth.
    each one connected
    by a spider called “life.”
    decorated in a pattern of hope
    and building our webs in one tree
    in a style like community.
    that way we can always return to our roots.
    every fly is named “love”
    we wait for our spider to bring in a fly.
    when he does, he’ll wrap it in silk.
    So we never lose it.
    with a single tug and a single pull,
    one glimpse of an encounter,
    we become closer entangled.




    Submitted on 2005-06-11 12:18:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a good piece, however the flow of it was rather choppy and it could have been longer. (Though if you were looking for a short piece you might want to change the ending a bit, it was a bit stop and go). Other then that it showed a new way of thinking. I would have never thought of life as a spider web. (Btw, loved the part about being able to go back to your roots and all being part of one tree).
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by MyHeart2Yours | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the way that this poem does resemble life. Capturing love as a way of resembling a fly, is a different view point but is understandable the way ur coming from. The fly gettin tangled in the web, like gettin lost in love. yeh, i enjoyed this piece! keep it up ! (Y)
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by clowns in my sleep | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the metaphor. I'm sure everyone can somehow relate to this topic. I think you might want to expand on this subject and maybe make it a tad bit longer. :0
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the metaphor of spiders. Definately original. The flow was fair but the imagery was good. I am afraid of spiders. I had to kill a pretty big one that was on my ceiling the other day. Anyways, keep at it and take care.
    -Katj
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by Katj | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this was really good, very original
    It showed emotion,
    Although I can’t say it was the –best-
    I will say I really liked it
    Good Job-
    Big Bill
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]


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