To truely relate to how I'm feeling now is impossible because to relate would be to feel the same. If anyone felt the same way that I do right now, I hope they die soon, for their sake. That is, if they haven't died already... The few people who I believe could live through what I have, would by no circumstance be left unchanged by this constant horror- a living torture.
For all of my good memories I have at least 10 which burn my eyes with tears. There are so many mistakes in my past that I cannot even remember where I went wrong. I wish with all my might and existance that I could just give up and no longer live, if not physically then emotionally. I want more than anything to just die.
However, all of the pain I feel only makes me fight this world and continue on. Anyone else in my position would be hard, a cold blooded statue. I cannot be that, though I wish I could. Think of how much easier life would be if I never loved or hurt or felt any emotion what-so-ever, but, I am too strong to be hard or cold. I love too much to overcome it and continue on without it.
I could never give up because of my inner strength. It is a strength that only I and one other person can see. This only confuses me more though.
Is the only other person who can truelly see me the man I'm destined to be with? Is he the One that I will love forever and spend my life with? Or is it the man I was with for 7 beatiful years? Is he the one I should continue on with? Or should I give my heart to the same man that I will soon give my inocence to? Should I spend my future with the only person who could ever pull me away from my first love?
Will I ever know? No... |
Submission Name: untitled
