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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Morning Breaksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 684
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       I can't seem to get the syllable counts close without ruining the original tone of the poem

    Suggestions on that would help?

    And any other bashings or praises are welcome as well


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMorning Breaksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world stops and

    Holds
    Its
    Breath

    As nature stands still and goes on pause
    Uneasiness spreads like death
    Though none observing know its cause

    As the winds howl, and storm clouds gather
    Over the world that rages with elements of weather
    Watching in awe at beautiful natural disasters
    That leaves us speechless in our respectful terror

    Majestic trees whisper of frightening lightning
    As drops from heaven pellet and patter
    Leaves the world achingly pure after such cleansing
    The air so crystal-clear it can shatter

    Then the storm clouds flee, and the sun lets loose its rays
    Nature begins again peacefully; and then morning breaks





    Submitted on 2005-06-12 13:51:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have never read anything like this before. I am picturing it all in my head. I love it! The words you used...was perfect.
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by ReiLuna | [ Reply to This ]
      great imagery i can see everything unfolding as if im right there to experience it. great work. it just kinda pulled me into the poem and held me captive till i was done reading. great read keep it up...Joy
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]


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