Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Morning Breaksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       I can't seem to get the syllable counts close without ruining the original tone of the poem

    Suggestions on that would help?

    And any other bashings or praises are welcome as well


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMorning Breaksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world stops and

    Holds
    Its
    Breath

    As nature stands still and goes on pause
    Uneasiness spreads like death
    Though none observing know its cause

    As the winds howl, and storm clouds gather
    Over the world that rages with elements of weather
    Watching in awe at beautiful natural disasters
    That leaves us speechless in our respectful terror

    Majestic trees whisper of frightening lightning
    As drops from heaven pellet and patter
    Leaves the world achingly pure after such cleansing
    The air so crystal-clear it can shatter

    Then the storm clouds flee, and the sun lets loose its rays
    Nature begins again peacefully; and then morning breaks





    Submitted on 2005-06-12 13:51:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have never read anything like this before. I am picturing it all in my head. I love it! The words you used...was perfect.
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by ReiLuna | [ Reply to This ]
      great imagery i can see everything unfolding as if im right there to experience it. great work. it just kinda pulled me into the poem and held me captive till i was done reading. great read keep it up...Joy
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    62485

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Incubus written by monad
    This written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry