this is an awesome piece of poetry and OOH LOOKIT! i'm being a good stalker and commenting! whoo-hoo! *feels proud of self*
okay, anyways, this is an awesome piece of poetry and it almost deserves to be put under the selection of venting but it's a little too sad for that. it's so... lonely. i sincerely hope this isn't a poem of self-loathing because there's no way in hell that you're like this. i haven't known you for that long of time but you're a good person francis, and you've made all of our lives richer by being in them... (okay, that sounded corny)
ok I'm sure that you are going through some rough spots in your life, but honestly can't you come up with somethig more imaginative? the line "I created monsters and abobinations I lost all control Please let me die... Rotten from my own heart Destroyed by my own mind..." was very cheesy I'm sorry to say. it did not flow at best it was botchy and cliché. you have no imagery and there really was no feeling or heart in this poem. try to describe pain and darkness without actually telling every one it is pain and darkness. just helpful suggestions. keep working at it.
No reason for sorry's Francis. This piece you have writen is very depressing and I can only guess that you were in a self doubting mood. I enjoyed the piece, but I think the flow could use some tweaking. But other than that you did a good job.
As your friend, I have to say, I can not let you think your life is a poison. You are a potion, but deadly you are not. You are a wonderful addition to anyones life. An upper, as one might say.
Aww, this was really sad and sounded a bit morbid, but maybe that's just me? Anyways, the poem was pretty good, Aki loved the way this thing flowed and hopes Neko keeps writing. *huggle attacks*
Submission Name: My life.... a poison
