[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My life.... a poisondots

    Author: Gothik
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 94/133/31
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 1207
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 751


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy life.... a poisondots

    What am I?
    All my life I looked for that answer
    I finnaly got an answer
    I am a poison

    Rotting every person
    Crushing every mind I encounter
    I destroy people
    Then rebuild them
    Sometime for the best
    Other time for the worst...

    Everytime to make things better
    Who am I?
    I am no God to take this decision
    I am just a virus infecting others

    Can't I just stop?
    Can't I end it all?
    I dont want to go on anymore

    I created monsters
    and abobinations
    I lost all control
    Please let me die...
    Rotten from my own heart
    Destroyed by my own mind...


    Submitted on 2005-06-12 17:55:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is an awesome piece of poetry and OOH LOOKIT! i'm being a good stalker and commenting! whoo-hoo! *feels proud of self*

    okay, anyways, this is an awesome piece of poetry and it almost deserves to be put under the selection of venting but it's a little too sad for that. it's so... lonely.
    i sincerely hope this isn't a poem of self-loathing because there's no way in hell that you're like this. i haven't known you for that long of time but you're a good person francis, and you've made all of our lives richer by being in them... (okay, that sounded corny)


    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      ok I'm sure that you are going through some rough spots in your life, but honestly can't you come up with somethig more imaginative? the line "I created monsters
    and abobinations
    I lost all control
    Please let me die...
    Rotten from my own heart
    Destroyed by my own mind..."
    was very cheesy I'm sorry to say. it did not flow at best it was botchy and cliché. you have no imagery and there really was no feeling or heart in this poem. try to describe pain and darkness without actually telling every one it is pain and darkness. just helpful suggestions. keep working at it.
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by hidden lady | [ Reply to This ]
      No reason for sorry's Francis. This piece you have writen is very depressing and I can only guess that you were in a self doubting mood. I enjoyed the piece, but I think the flow could use some tweaking. But other than that you did a good job.

    As your friend, I have to say, I can not let you think your life is a poison. You are a potion, but deadly you are not. You are a wonderful addition to anyones life. An upper, as one might say.


    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww, this was really sad and sounded a bit morbid, but maybe that's just me? Anyways, the poem was pretty good, Aki loved the way this thing flowed and hopes Neko keeps writing. *huggle attacks*
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]