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    dots Submission Name: Break-Updots

    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 841
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1351

       about a break-up

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Donít you ever give me love
    Then try to take it back from me
    I may not mind, but I know my eyes
    Will never forgive you or turn off their faucets

    So holding hands is all past, and my lonely
    Ones return to empty pockets
    Emptier than my heart, since that cracked and spilled
    On my bed, where I curled up and wept, the day you left me

    Please, donít give me memories of our memories
    That will just end up fading
    Like words inked on parched paper
    Like our love
    Fading like unfinished thoughts

    How could you steal, you thieving bastard
    Itís all cunning and deceit
    Donít you ever take my heart
    Then give it back to me, shattered
    Splattered all over your hands
    Cause the stains will never wash off

    Where did the magic disappear?
    Was I so blinded to not see the magicianís hat?
    And that fleeting rabbit, that dazzled us both
    Jumping, dissappearing back inside

    How dare you leave me; alone, unsure
    I know itís pathetic, but I feel lost and insecure
    Am I unlovable? Am I not good enough?
    Times like these call for gallons of ice cream
    As if I didn't already feel fat and fucked up

    God damn all break-ups

    Submitted on 2005-06-13 20:00:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||

    My dear love. Without you i would not be able to know that i am ok. With the words you have recited to me, day after day for atleast a month now, as i tear up on the phone, and this poem just makes my world feel like someone understands, though the whole time i knew, you and only you would ever be as understanding, calm, and caring to my complicated issues with a disrepectful 'basturd'. As my mentors A.K.A. you, and E have basically told me...

    "It is very difficult to accept the fact that there are no guarantees in life, no guarantees that life will progress as it should or that the people you care about will love you back, or ever that they will treat you right. But trust in life does not mean trusting that life will always be good, or that will be free of grief and pain. It means trusting that somewhere inside yourself you can find the strength to go forth and meet what comes even if you meet betrayal and disappointment along the way, go forth again the very next day. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."

    Lovely poem, i mean it honestly from my heart. It means something to me, like I can see myself in life, and this poem is narrorating my story.

    This poem made me feel real, alive, and that i still have a chance to come back and beat life at its best.

    I cant not give you compliments on this poem, because its truly absolutly PERFECT!

    Which parts ARENT good in this poem, i love you so much *****...

    The only thing that distracted me from this piece at any point was the fact of my tears falling onto my keyboard, its poem literally gave me emotions i wish i could have had before, at times worse than the worst...

    O ya and ANOTHER complaint lol is that the fact i have such amazing friends such you, that can connect so close, with something so hard for me to even comprehend.

    This poem...i shouldnt even say waht it reminds me of, i dont think on literal terms its even healthy, i think the situation made me more mentally ill than i ever have been.

    My interpretaion of this poem is that i love you, and im glad i met you, my world would not be the same, baby girl i love you so much i cant expres how much it means that you would take the time, to call me and just give me a quick fix of friendship, and the fact that you can actualy relate, like with poems like these who can go WRONG!? uhmm...no one!

    The only thing i would have done diffrently, would probibly to hug you and never let go...

    Original ORIGINAL people only wish they could right something this amazing in their whole entire life. You are my insperation for moving on, not holding a grudge on this painful situation, and let my heart, my soul, and my life move on from this painful enuendo i have been unexpectantly involved in. Your pep talks, chap stick partys, and girls nights out, are making my life a heaven, YOU ARE SERIOUSLY my best friend ever. You and E, best friends i have...i know everyone can have a bestfriend, but it may not flow both ways, either way, im glad to have you as a friend, im personally honored to be considered such an amazingly awsome persons friend. Your poetry is far beyond my wildest dreams.

    Rock on Nig.
    Pierced Heart
    | Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by PiercedHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      Try rhyming in your next poem. I've read some of your work and theres raw emotion and though sometimes writing a raw emotion with a raw hand is good, it mostly comes out disjointed. Rhyming makes you think of the words and with your talent that can lead to something amazing. Good poem by the way. Breaking up is so gay.
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by azeremen12 | [ Reply to This ]

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