Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My submissiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Restless_Heart
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 44/35/16
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1217



    Description:
       Whatever you want. it doesn't matter. Life is all just a pile of shit. We'll rot under the soil. Whats the point? Say what you want, it doesn't make a differance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy submissiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    A beautiful deadly thing,
    Unfeared when unfelt,
    Life is hard, death is easy,
    Maybe too hard is the reason I'll quit,
    Maybe too hard is the reason I'll fit,
    Into that wooden box.
    Pine, maybe oak.
    Hard to say,
    Death by sea, or wrist.
    Gone, done over by a broken heart,
    Submission to a bloody fate.
    No longer will I be a slave to this hate,
    No longer will I feel this pain.
    If my life were to end few would cry,
    It hurts, hurts to be the person I wish to be,
    The best I could ever be,
    Its not good enough obviously,
    Suicide, is it a friend or enemy?
    Maybe death is at my bedside.
    Waiting for me to make my decision.
    Waiting for a heart to change.
    My submission is now to live unscorned.
    My submission is to live.
    I can no longer care for everyone, everywhere.
    Myself and no one else.
    If I try to satisfy, then my heart will just get broke and I'll break down and cry.
    My life was made for me to die.
    I think I should help speed up the process,
    This is my submission.


    Copywritten 2005




    Submitted on 2005-06-13 21:44:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I dont know what to say really.I can say I did like it,I can't tell you to change anything about it becuase it was a very good poem.It was very deep and emotional.Very nice.
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]
      NO ONE on this Earth was made to die. Live is created to be lived, no matter how hard it seems, your time will come to die, you don't need to do anything to "speed up the process." Life isn't fair, and it totally sucks so bad sometimes, but all we can do is be strong and get through it. It can't be horrible forever.

    You think no one cares at all about you, no one would cry if you killed yourself. Look around you. Have you parents? siblings? friends? people you talk to? They would notice, they would care and it would most definitely affect them. If you look hard enough, there is always someone there. I know what it feel like to not have anyone to talk to, it seems like no one will listen. Tell them how you feel. No one should suffer alone. Pain is easier to bear when shared with someone.

    Ok, now I'm giving you the standard advice, but seriously, what would suicide solve? It would only result in making the lives around you miserable. People do care about you. And think about it, you wouldn't feel better if you killed yourself because you wouldn't feel anything at all. Please read my journal entry titled Suicide, I don't know what it will do, but I hope it will make you think a little about this. (Go to "view past journal entries" in case you don't know how to get there...)

    I hope this DOES make a difference, because it must be horrible to feel the way you do. I also have a poem called "Don't Let Go" about suicide, though in your state of mind I doubt that message would be strong enough.

    By the way, this poem is well written, and well expressed are your feelings of not being good enough and not caring about anything anymore, because it hurts too bad. You say "my submission is to live" so please keep that true.

    Thanks for this "submission" and I hope this was just written during a bad mood you were in. Best wishes!

    ~Cari
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by prettybaby | [ Reply to This ]
      Well as poetry this works well. As a suicide note...eh.

    Part of poetry's purpose is to paint pictures and transfer feelings. You did that well with this piece. Always write what you are and say what you feel and your poetry will glow.

    As to all the [censored], been there. For me, I dscovered it was just fertalizer. If I held firm and grew through it, beautiful things could blossom in their own time.

    Mystics see death as their friend and traveling companion. They live on the edge. They know it may catch them at anytime so they keep moving, staying just out of its grasp. Even if you feel it breathing on the hairs at the back of your neck, you can still out run it.

    Write on!
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Did you ever hear the saying Life is not easy. Everyone heard that saying. Its tough, but you have to get through it. Death is not a gift. So why you saying it like it is.

    Somedays I feel like nothing in this world will make me happy. I think to myself, should I go off and do something stupid... I thought of death, but than I looked at the future. I have big dreams. But the dreams I have.. its not really a reality. But, if I really wanted the dreams to come true. I must be alive.

    Here, there must be something in your life, you can count on. Something that makes you happy. If you can't find anything, than search for it. Death will not ease the pain. You have to work in life. Remember its not easy and death isn't the way.

    Well Anyways.. I thought the poem was good. but the message of it.. just doesn't make sense...
    I hope you seek something quick, but not death.

    Stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not one of those people who will read this and say "oh my freakin god dont kill your self" crap...if you feel that unloved and hurt it hurts to live.i know the feeling but in my case the feeling dissapeared because i just decided not to care anymore.i liked this one.
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by intoxicated411 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    62709

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry