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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Madness (A fragment)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1131
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1259



    Description:
       yet another fragment that I plan on turning into a longer work. I'm not too sure about this one though. Any thoughts welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMadness (A fragment)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can feel the sickness growing--pulsing through my veins. The madness behind my eyes is warm, not at all like my ice-water emotions.
    It's not often that a person realizes he's mad--doesn't that, in fact, negate the madness in some way? I, unlike so many others, am fully aware of my lunacy--and I revel in it.

    A famous man once wrote "we're all made here;" nothing could be truer. The guards here are really the nutjobs--I overheard two of them talking, and one guy is dating three women. Three! Talk about crazy. What kind of masochistic imbicile crosses three women. Cross one and you're done for; three could kill you. Still, they're the ones who put me here.

    Trapped in this room, as if the padding will somehow soften the edges of my reality, as if the stark whitness will lighten my dark mood. Only one thing will do that, and if I told you what it was, you'd probably think I was crazy.

    I did it-I'm not denying that. I enjoyed it too: all the blood, the gore. It was like a red rain. I am sorry about the dog, but the bitch bit me. . .Maybe that's really why I'm here. Nobody really cares about Mr. Smith; nobody liked the old man anyway.




    Submitted on 2005-06-14 13:51:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "I, unlike so many others, am fully aware of my lunacy--and I revel in it."

    H*lls yeah!

    I like this...it has definite potential...

    Please expound on it!!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-06 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      It's about time that someone else comes in the crazy room with me! I was getting rather lonely!

    This was talent that I have so much missed over time. You are shining again and I love to see that. You always have had a way with words that has amazed me. You are unique and definitely obvious in the crowd.

    BRAVO!

    Welcome back to Elite...have a seat.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      So happy to be the one that gets to comment first...I love it and I'm so glad to see you are back!
    And I love the line-
    I, unlike so many others, am fully aware of my lunacy-and I revel in it.
    And I think that is the way it should be always, know the craziness and learn to love it.
    I caint wait to read more, I'll be looking for ya.
    Denise
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]
      Is this related to the other fragment? As it's written in the first person, maybe not, but I liked the thoughts behind this one better, I'd definitely develop it, it reminds me of a "catch 22" type of story. Nicely different to what we've been reading,
    Well done

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a very good start, very descriptive full of emotions... dark... is it related to untitled fragment... well good luck in piecing it all together:)
    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      "It's not often that a person realizes he's mad-doesn't that, in fact, negate the madness in some way?"

    I love that line... theres perspective in it. im sure most people are aware that a crazy person does not know or believe he or she is crazy, but never would you hear this comment from the insane themselves. Very well done. You must go on with this one.
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by PsychoBabble214 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice write indeed! I especially love:
    It's not often a person realizes he is mad
    Doesn't that in fact, negate the madness in some way?
    That is really good and ya know that is true! I think everyone has some degree of madness within them and that it is life experience that either enhances it or keeps it at bay. Our minds are definately our worst enemy! Really good poem! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-30 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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