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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Gravitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ratboy
    ASL Info:    17/Male/South Slocan B.C.
    Elite Ratio:    5.17 - 50/73/22
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1747
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 684



    Description:
       June 13 I wrote this while observing my cat on the last day of his life. He was put down the following day, as he had simply gotten to old and decrepid.

    June 15 - Changed the yoda-esk line


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGravitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    My cat knows gravity to well.

    It binds him, grinds away
    His softened bones, stripped and stretched against his paper skin.

    His vertebrae, alas, have long been tied
    And twisted taut by time.
    With lines and hooks, the dirty rope
    That drowns us all
    Is pulling him to every root.

    We need him,
    Cries the earth, it aches
    For now it knows
    He is more element then whole.

    And gravity,
    A force to great to hold in fist
    Has cracked his frame and drawn his body in
    So weighed with bags of sand he slips
    And I can see him shrink before my eyes.




    Submitted on 2005-06-14 21:36:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Aw, kitty...I love animals. I think it is cool how you can write about something people take for granted, like pets. People expect them to always be there and when their time comes to leave, that person is caught completely unaware, because they are only there to witness the passing.

    I don't know, maybe I rely on pets too much. They give great comfort, they give you a sounding board, for times when you need to talk but an answer isn't something you are searching for. I think every person should have some sort of pet. I two pure black cats and a medium size mut. I grew up having one pet or another so I feel lost without one.

    I liked this, made me think of my favorite cat, Wiskers, who died at the age of 13.

    Well done, Sam.
    Bonnie
    | Posted on 2005-10-08 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the vivid description of the aged cat. you have alot here that is great in that way. ha ha ive seen that yoda-ism. im not laughing at you, i do that stuff myself too so dont feel bad. i like it though, rich and very heartfelt for a member of your family. very good. thanks for sharing this, mike
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this alot. There is a lot of meaning in this. I think you could clean it up a bit, like edit the line {for knows it does) to be less of a yoda-ism, and a few other things like that and you'd have a solid poem here. I enjoy the masterful way in which you describe so vividly something so obviously emotional for you. My regrets of the death of your cat, and welcome to the site. Hope to read more of you later.

    solar
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by solararia | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this... amazing, theres no other word for it... The thought put into it is... just...wow... manifique! (my spelling is about the worst you will ever see) i guess i can see where solar is coming from with the "yoda-ism" personally, i think that because you aren't rhyming, you could re-word that quite easily. I'm sorry for the death of your cat, you put your emotion for the loss very well into this. I love it. Welcome to ES and im hoping you post more.
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by PsychoBabble214 | [ Reply to This ]
      One of the first poems I ever wrote was about my cat that died. This was really good, it kinda reminded me of the old classical way or writing.
    I agree with salararia about that line, I think it would sound better "For it knows."
    Other than that, great job. Im sorry for the loss of your cat. Write on :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by DisilusndDreamr | [ Reply to This ]


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