Description: -Death can slash you with it's scythe, and you won't even know it!
-I think the human soul is actually the human mind and I followed that belief in this poem
-write whatcha think!
-take care
Mind that scythe -------------------------------------------
In the park in thoughts so cold
On a bench so moist and old
Not a living soul, left or right
The park was somewhat lone that night
In the park in thoughts I lied
On a wooden bench now dried
The sullen wind hinted death
Suddenly I lost my breath
In the park a stench has spread
A cutting smell of something dead
Although I found myself disturbed
My lucidity could not be curbed
In the park in thoughts I gazed
Of how time flies I stood amazed
Weeks or even months have passed
From when I've drunk and eaten last
In the park the sun appeared
By the bench - my dear in tears
She hugged me and she called my name
I tried and failed to do the same
In the park in thoughts I frowned
For the awful truth I have found
In the park that horrid night
The sullen winds were truly right
In the dark as ravens flied
In the park as my love cried
Below the park and in the dark
I know now that I died
wow, lovely and sad. You keep my attention from start to finish. The flow was well, and I wasn't expecting it to end like that. But a very enjoyable read. Wouldn't change a thing. It reminded me of something POE would write, with it irony and all. good work.
very depressing but well written. you used the word park a lot, but the poem did flow well. I like the ryhme scheme aabbccdd... so on. I especially liked the last stanza. I like your work
Submission Name: Mind that scythe
