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    dots Submission Name: Mind that scythedots

    Author: shoggoth
    ASL Info:    24/m/croatia
    Elite Ratio:    4.74 - 80/84/30
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1047
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1134

       -Death can slash you with it's scythe, and you won't even know it!
    -I think the human soul is actually the human mind and I followed that belief in this poem
    -write whatcha think!
    -take care

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMind that scythedots

    In the park in thoughts so cold
    On a bench so moist and old
    Not a living soul, left or right
    The park was somewhat lone that night

    In the park in thoughts I lied
    On a wooden bench now dried
    The sullen wind hinted death
    Suddenly I lost my breath

    In the park a stench has spread
    A cutting smell of something dead
    Although I found myself disturbed
    My lucidity could not be curbed

    In the park in thoughts I gazed
    Of how time flies I stood amazed
    Weeks or even months have passed
    From when I've drunk and eaten last

    In the park the sun appeared
    By the bench - my dear in tears
    She hugged me and she called my name
    I tried and failed to do the same

    In the park in thoughts I frowned
    For the awful truth I have found

    In the park that horrid night
    The sullen winds were truly right

    In the dark as ravens flied
    In the park as my love cried
    Below the park and in the dark
    I know now that I died

    Submitted on 2005-06-15 12:43:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow, lovely and sad. You keep my attention from start to finish. The flow was well, and I wasn't expecting it to end like that. But a very enjoyable read. Wouldn't change a thing. It reminded me of something POE would write, with it irony and all. good work.

    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      very depressing but well written. you used the word park a lot, but the poem did flow well. I like the ryhme scheme aabbccdd... so on. I especially liked the last stanza. I like your work
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]

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