You'll probably have lotsa people relating to this . . .ahhh just take it as part of the relationship downs. could relate most to the following stanza (quite sad actually!) "I want you as my own But your feelings aren't the same Your change your mind daily And put me through a lot of pain"
Wow, very emotional piece, and I hope you two get things worked out quickly. But now for the poem. Youve got a good xaya rhyme scheme going( one of my favs to use) and a generally followed rhythm pattern( couple of spots, but not much to worry about.) Couple of stanzas almost feel incomplete. I might have done six or eight line stanzas to give the whole thought and more. Four is just so limiting... Anyways, very good emotion, word color, and katovog. Overall, a great write. 8/10
All these feelings you displayed in this were honest, brief, and simple. You know...I have held onto feelings like this never knowing how to state them. Never knowing how to properly put them on paper...and here...you did it for me!
this was really awesome. it really describes my relationship also. this is very emotional and it will have the ability to touch alot of people its good to see some young people, lol me too: really put their mind into writing something good job