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december


Author: shes automatic
ASL Info:    17/f/ky
Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 47 /62 /13
Words: 299
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1243
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1728



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december



It’s so cold.
The seasons are changing and I usually love it.
You’re changing but I hate it.
All I have is another fix of something to make me forget you.
I started something I couldn’t finish.
Your words used to make my chest flutter and now my stomach are in knots and it’s strange how one feeling, turns into another.

It’s so bitter cold, I should have worn a jacket tonight, but then again, I don’t feel without you.
I guess I gave you too much power, and now I’m numb to anyone’s touch but yours.
Even the dead of winter can’t reach its hand out to grasp my heart.

I’ll see you and we’ll both cast our eyes downward.
The spots where we used to meet will be empty and useless.
I’ll avoid looking at your face at all cost, because you’ll see the heart ache in my eyes.
…and I know you won’t care.

Create me a story, that you didn’t say what you did.
That we’d do what we always said we’d do.
And we’d go on like all I’ve read about and live happily ever after.
But that’s the difference between my stories and this life.
You are the difference between my fantasy and your reality.

I used to have writer’s block, but who knew the maliciousness in you, would bring out the writer in me?
Now I’m tired, but I can’t go to bed. If I lay down and stare at the wall, all the things you said will cram into me at once.
So I sit alone, and wait for someone, anyone, to pretend they care.
Why can’t you just pretend like they do?
Pretend to love me.
I won’t know the difference.




Submitted on 2005-06-15 23:09:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I can really tell ur devolpement in writing over the time from this poem to you most recent I liked this one it's very real and that's how things are and u did a wonderful job of putting them down in the poem
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh, sweetheart... this is so heartbreakingly beautiful. It once again made me think about something that happened to me in the past... describes it really well. Except I have the bad habit of leaving myself too open, so once I get heartbroken, I continue to do so because I hope that each person will be "the next person"... Not a good habit to get into. But, all that's behind me as far as it'll go, I think. This poem, though... gorgeous. There was nothing really that I would change in it, except for the line "between my fantasy and your reality" This is the only part that caught my brain and caused me to read it a couple of times to get it. No suggestions on it, but that's just what happened. Thanks again for sharing yourself. It's beautiful.
-Adaria <3
| Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by Adaria | [ Reply to This ]
  That was good. It's nice to see another free-form style writer.

I would, however, suggest that you check for misused commas, as they make the poem harder to read. Also, try rewording a few lines, as the casual reader wouldn't understand "All I have is another fix of something to make me forget you." without some thought.

But the content, I like it.

So I sit alone, and wait for someone, anyone, to pretend they care.
Why can’t you just pretend like they do?
Pretend to love me.
I won’t know the difference.

I really like that part, it kinda speaks to me. "I need to be loved so badly, I don't want to realize that it's not real" is what I gathered. Keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Ata_Khai | [ Reply to This ]
  i loved this poem it is so true because alot of people can relate...well i know i can.this ones going on my faves list!great poem!
| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by intoxicated411 | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! I knew you were an awesome writer but this blew me away! This is so heartbreaking. :( It's like I'm feeling your pain too, through your words. Which shows what awesome talent you have. I like how you question yourself without this person. Like not feeling without the person and being numb to anyone's touch but theirs. The part about seeing the person is great because almost everyone can relate. We all have that someone that we don't want to look at because like you said, "The spots where we used to meet will be empty and useless." I adore the ending. Humans just want to be accepted you know? Even if it's pretend. Great job! I'm happy that I get to read your pieces.
-blt
| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]


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