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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I have forgiven Part IIdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Drayke
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 64/110/45
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 221
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 730



    Description:
       I dont know what to say about it so ill let u guys do the talking :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI have forgiven Part IIdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have forgiven,
    And I have forgotten
    after all,
    not all trophies are ill-gotten.

    Its hanging on my wall now,
    the list of people I forgave
    I can rest easy now,
    after being that brave.

    I wonder if they ever saw it coming,
    as love relenquished the hatred from my heart,
    now all I can do is wonder,
    If I made a difference in THEIR hearts.

    If only they had known my pain,
    before I let it go,
    I wish i had kept a little,
    to take to them to show.

    I hope they learned that,
    although we are all different,
    we all feel the same pain,
    and in that we are all the same.




    Submitted on 2005-06-16 01:53:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      If only they had known my pain,
    before I let it go,
    I wish i had kept a little,
    to take to them to show

    I really liked this...these lines were very gripping to me. You have great ideas that you portray in your writing, but at times your pieces seem to have a little too much force in them. It's not so much about rhyme as it is about the raw emotion...don't forget that. It'll come to you. Your writing is good and has potential to get even better. It just seems to me that when you're writing, you tend to hold back just a little bit and that's conveyed in your writing. Maybe I'm wrong-wouldn't be the first time, it's just the impression I get. I'll keep reading if you keep writing.
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      To me...holding a grudge is never worth it. To forgive proves yourself to be the better person. Proves maturity and improves well-being.

    You put everything in this poem as well as I could see it possibly being put. You used simplicity and that is always something that I appreciate. I feel that the point is brought across better with clear thinking.

    Loved it

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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