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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Soft, Cruel Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vedanta19
    Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 492/502/133
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 304
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2186



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSoft, Cruel Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Far away, over the twilight-shadowed
    sleepy mountains,
    Tired birds fly anxiously towards the warmth of
    the cosy nests,
    Eager little one chirp louder sensing the darkness,
    softly blinding the retiring day;

    The sun sets behind the drunken grey clouds,
    dragging themselves -
    sometimes to west, sometimes to north - unsure;

    The tall palms seem to yawn and irritated at
    wide-awake, noisy sea-breeze - an old friend
    begging to play silly games at strange hours;

    In a quiet town -
    the music of hard rock changes it's mood
    to soft jazz;

    The new couples try to coordinate their
    hesitant steps amidst
    laughter, flirty glances and
    quick kisses;

    The broken-hearted subconsiously
    wipe a weak tear hurriedly,
    sip ironically coincided coloured wine
    as
    all this gets too familiar;

    Nearby in a sofly-lit backyard
    of a sad cottage,
    an unshaven painter captures
    the romance of this sensuous eve of night
    on his moon-touched canvas;

    A lunatic poet, next door
    pens down sweet sonnets of
    friendly star, crazy moon and
    whitewinged angels comfortably seated
    on those drunken grey clouds;

    The simple, once unpopular
    girl with pretty dimples
    sleep smilingly after being crowned the
    prom princess,
    Now
    like a blessed Cinderella, she dances delicately
    with
    prayers and raw dreams -
    Her happy mother proudly looks on;

    The little nightingale approves singing songs of
    hopes and sunflowers of springtime;

    The cocaine-addicted singer - full of gratitude
    as
    his voice flows like silk - inviting ever-increasing
    awed admirers;

    The aged actor from classic cowboy movies
    slips into a slumber of a lonely death;

    As
    this night declines into it's
    best-kept secrets of mysteries and wonders of
    magical moments.






    Submitted on 2005-06-16 06:00:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Your language in this poem is very descriptive and this one is long enough. You show every expression in very detail words so everybody can understand this poem.
    | Posted on 2005-10-01 00:00:00 | by garnet4david | [ Reply to This ]
      This is truly the most awesome poem that i have had the pleasure to read there is nothing wrong at all with this peace you should be very proud of this one it really grabs you and takes you with it thank you so much
    | Posted on 2005-07-05 00:00:00 | by suzanne | [ Reply to This ]
      the cast of characters in this poem are truly lovely. great visual style brings to life the surroundings creating this somber almost loser feel/hopeless mood.

    Adding to My Faves List.

    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really reallly good.I don't see anything wrong with it.such great discrpion in this piece and great metaphors in the poem. thesee where my fave. 2 stanza's

    Nearby in a sofly-lit backyard
    of a sad cottage,
    an unshaven painter captures
    the romance of this sensuous eve of night
    on his moon-touched canvas;

    A lunatic poet, next door
    pens down sweet sonnets of
    friendly star, crazy moon and
    whitewinged angels comfortably seated
    on those drunken grey clouds;

    well i don't know what else to say besides hope to hear from you and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
      nice picture this was very good nice images throughout very deep feelings of all walks of life a good write right from the start nicely done
    thanx for all your comments
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Your language in this poem is very descriptive and paints some nice imagery in the first five stanzas, however it moves on too abruptly to the nondescript and lost my interest. I think you were on to something good and then you lost it. This poem lacks creativity. Yet you have a nice mastering of words.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by popular_myth | [ Reply to This ]
      This is true... I like how you see the beatuy of the time these days. I mean not many people can see the stains that we have changed and the beauty within us all. That is what I think it is about. Inner beauty. so yeah. This is really really really good. So yeah this has to be one of your better writes. KEEP IT ON THNX

    - Nammy
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]



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