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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: revelationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Abby Sinthetic
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 177/230/53
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1033
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 611



    Description:
       Wrote this in a hurry. At school. No corrections made as of yet. Not denying its repulsiveness. As I've said, wrote it in a hurry..just popped into my head. any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Okay, I just changed a line...a word...from Azrael to the Destroyer of Delights, which I picked up from the book Arabian nights.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrevelationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bloody hands on cigarettes
    The war is on, place your bets
    Everyone is paying the price

    Happy children claiming souls
    A dying angel's worth one dying rose
    And fame's become the most terrific vice.

    Every good is gone
    Everyone's become the dying god
    At least a martyr

    Fuck your pigs you filthy strangers
    eat your souls to quench the dangers
    The Destroyer of delights is on his way

    So get all the money ready
    Every pretty copper penny
    Buy your way to heaven if you may.




    Submitted on 2005-06-16 14:00:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Crypto's so crazy, haha, he's kool. Placeing your bets for fights. I never got into this kinda thing. It didn't happen when I was attending school. It's all to common now, at school, in the street, alleys, just about everywhere you look.

    Don't be hard on yourself, you have hthe makings for a great writer someday. Your starting out pretty good.

    always,
    illusions35904
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it, you could have made it longer, but I liked it. This would make a cool song, if you could put the right music to it, but in a way it expresses how everyone feels about war.
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by MyHeart2Yours | [ Reply to This ]
      the poems cool. your right about it being repulsive. but the subjects repulsive. it takes a true writer to see the ugliness of life. it does need some nitpicking but only you can make it what it will no doubt be. a seriously cool poem with lots of spunk. i cnt believ i used the spunk. i dont even know if that applies...
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]


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