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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shes automatic
    ASL Info:    17/f/ky
    Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 47/62/13
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 306
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 686



    Description:
       i wrote this a very long time ago...and usually when i go through old poems i throw them out because i think they sound terrible.
    this one was an exception.
    comment away.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyoudots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'd love to watch you bleed but these scissors are so dull from wishing.
    You live in my eyes.
    ...in my heart
    ...in my head
    When my stomach turns the nightmare is over.
    You
    Won't
    Leave.
    Go away forever. I can't stand to see your face.
    Your hands interlocked in hers...
    my hearts interlocked in you.
    Your face burns into my eyelids, a permanent imprint.
    You're the deepest scar I wear.
    The blood I smell
    The metal I taste
    I'd love to watch you bleed, but these scissors are already imbedded in my chest
    ...and I can't see anyone but you.




    Submitted on 2005-06-16 17:02:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow that's really amazing ur poems are so emoitional packed u have a way of expressing emotions that I only wish I coudl express kepe it goign amber
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, very good. I liked how I felt your anger in this. Also relate very well to it, but I'll try to stray from that subject. Anyway, good descriptions, and though I don't think it needs changing, I thought the ending was too cup-half-empty. I tend to be optimistic, oddly enough. So yeah, I like it how it is, and it suits the cutter within me, but the optimistic one on the outside wishes you had turned your eyes onto someone else rather than thrusting the scissors into your chest. But don't change it. It's too good to be influenced on.
    -Adaria
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by Adaria | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this one too. Talking about the "you" people in our life always bring out the best emotions don't you think? We all have that one person in that one point in time that just make us love/hate them. I like the original format of this. The "You Won't Leave." part really made the piece stand out for the reader and show your mixed feelings. The ending sums it up. You can't stand this person but you love them. You want to be without them but you don't want to see them with someone else. That's what I got from the piece anyway. It's really good because it leaves interpretation open to the reader. Great job again! :)
    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]



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