Summer is the consistency of lonliness
When you think you're in bloom
you're plagued with memories.
Winter months bring the comfort of darkness.
Wrap up tight in your 22 degree heart,
because the illusion of love with cradle you back to sleep.
Until you realize your whole being is a lie.
Scribble on the paper like your words actually mean something to someone.
Scratch out what's wrong.
Bold what you like
it won't matter...
This garble won't make sense next season.
Your silhouette smile will change like the leaves.
You are the inconstant moon.
So squeeze your eyes tight
& pray for your heart to freeze over until it stops.
| This was really good I likked how the feelings of the person changed as the seasons did jsut like the things in your life change witht he season I liked this one alot||| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ] || Time spent alone with yourself can be some of the most enlightening and traumatic anyone can experience. I may be wrong, but your writing suggests you handle the chaos and disappointment in your life with a great deal of calm self assurance. Even in your introspection and doubt, your progress always seems to be forward. Interesting.||| Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ] || What is it about the wee hours of the morning that get to a person. – A writer nonetheless. I agree that summer is the consistency of loneliness. I like how you kept the theme up with bloom for summer, and 22 degree heart for winter. Great visuals in this. I especially like "Your silhouette smile will change like the leaves." Wow I just really like this. This is my favorite part, "Scribble on the paper like your words actually mean something to someone." I have a hard time making season pieces sound just decent and so this is really amazing to me. You made this wonderful. 3 AM is definitely the best time to write! *Hugs* Great job! |
-blt : )
|| Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ] || I like this a lot. I like the abstractness of some of your images like "Wrap up tight in your 22 degree heart." I like that you didn't feel the need to name all of the seasons (Most seasonal poems are too obvious). I like how you carried the theme of the cold heart through both stanzas. I'm sorry, but I like this. I'm just having one of those days in which words aren't coming out properly.||| Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ] || I really enjoyed your descriptions. There's a few small mistakes in the wording:|
illusion of love with cradle you
but aside from that it was a good poem, and it's easy to find the emotion behind the words. 3am writing I must admit, can be the most inspirational of all times of day. Personally, it takes from 3am until around 6am for anything to materialize on paper though. Thanks for the poem!
|| Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by elitegundam | [ Reply to This ] || [censored], it's been sooooo long since I've been on the site, I forgot how good some of the writing was... but besides my own distractions... I really like this peice actually I think I'm going to add it to my Favorite's list... I like the theme of the seasons and your heart, it was very good...||| Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ] |