Leave me in EXILE~ REVISED -------------------------------------------
LeAvE me
it takes a day too long
to get out
of the
internal
cold
freezing lines
cast
pull
catch
tearing
at dry lives
reel them in
no one
knows
my bleeding
show
all packed tight
around silenced fans
protecting an old
breathing
corpse
Drained of will
stilled of hate
hard and blind
destroying the signs
they dont need
to find me.
dark
bleak
lost
a capsule of trauma
lying drunken beneath
a river bed of
secrets crashing out to sea
rising falling
hurtling at the survivors
surfing across endless bodies
sweaty
tired
im half way there.
cramped
eyes wide
pulsing veins
fears collide
weighted down
he's trying to break the surface
but the cold numbs his nerves
scratching clawing
at an inevitable end
mouth full of water
deaths not pretend.
he gets what he deserves
leave him
under
rolling
as his dreams freeze over
ever so slowly
it takes to long
to get him out
to lift him above
this internal
CoLd
your title [censored] rocks "leave me in exile" wish I thought of that line, I might have to steal it, or rather I'd pay for the rights...
loved the structure on this one. strong short blunt phrasing= powerful. You painted a cold picture of exile. "as his dreams freeze over" wonderful line there.
mixed imagery of death had me wondering, in a good way, of what this poem was saying. I love writings that do not wrap everything up. Good Write.
Submission Name: Leave me in EXILE~ REVISED
