Tears Forever Falling by _winky

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Submission Name: Tears Forever Falling dots

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Author:	_winky_
ASL Info:	25/f/minnesota
Elite Ratio:	4.32 - 664/527/95
Words:	72

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	250
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	491

Description:

Tears Forever Falling dots

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One by one they fall
Forever into this river
Escaping a mind of pain
Sorrow is what they deliver

These eyes are getting sore
Slowly filling up this bucket
Needing to be dumped once more

Begging for your arrival
Pleading to hear your voice
Tears now turning red
Knowing there is no choice

Consumed by crimson cries
I’m stuck within myself
Our love remains in disguise

Submitted on 2005-06-17 11:09:52 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I like this poem. There is nothing I would change, and I like how you switched it up from 4 to 3, and repeated it without making it seem choppy, and it didn't lose the rhythm. I like the sad images it poses.

"Slowly filling up this bucket
Needing to be dumped once more"

The title is perfect, because it seems like the person is going to be crying for all of eternity.
| Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by insipid sky | [ Reply to This ]
  You did a great job with this poem. You conveyed the amount of pain that was felt in a very real way. I liked how you switched it to red tears at the end. There are a ton of these poems popping up lately...this one kept my attention til the end. Great job!
Candi
| Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  I weally really like this, and I love how it's so small and simple, which made it seem like these were your thoughts and feeling, which are adamant. I also like the last stanza, because I think it means that you're crying because like the person in this poem is going out with someone, but he's keeping it a secret, no? Well that was my perception. VAiry good.
Peace and love,
Aya
| Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice imagrey, full of emotion.. good flow.. well chosen title... the words here match it exactly... every line of this represents sadness... if you are going through something I hope all goes well
| Posted on 2005-06-18 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
  Simply written for such a complex issue...pain in general...or perpetual pain in this case...This poem I get the sense of pain caused by longing/missing someone you've been away from for awhile...hope this isn't truth based, but if it is, feel better

Stw
| Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
  This was cute. I wish a female would write me a poem. That would probably make me want to marry her. I don't think that you are really writing this for anyone. I just kind of went into my own zone there for a second sorry.

This was good!

Xbiter
| Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
  Oo, I liked this very much. It had great description, I could see all this happening, it wasn't just words. This was my favorite part:
"These eyes are getting sore
Slowly filling up this bucket
Needing to be dumped once more"
It shows how much you've cried without saying really anything about it, shows great feeling.

Overall very good poem, keep up the good work.

-Miss M.
| Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by fightingirl19 | [ Reply to This ]

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