[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tell - NOW ONLINEdots

    Author: Cindergarden1
    ASL Info:    18 Male Sweden
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 43/58/17
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 771
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 713

       Another of my songs...
    Autobiographical... to a point. Poetic license :P

    The song is an acoustic fingerpicked guitar and an harmonica. Alas, the harmonica isnt on this live recording. Copy/paste the link. Don't click it. THat won't work.


    Key: Em
    If you have a G-harmonica, enjoy!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTell - NOW ONLINEdots

    Sister said I'm losing grip
    Tell me what I'm holding on to
    Brother, you're a sinking ship
    Can't tell you how much I love you

    Mother said I made her proud
    But that was long ago now
    Conscience speaking way too loud
    Since I shut my mouth

    Tell me, sister
    Doesn't it hurt in you, too?
    Tell my mother I still love her

    Lover said she's leaving me
    Don't know why she bothers
    She says she needs to be free
    But it's the same pain with the others

    Tell me, sister
    Doesn't it hurt in you, too?
    Tell my lover I still love her

    Submitted on 2005-06-17 18:37:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a cool song/poem. I went through it a couple times to make a beat for it. Fortunatly,
    I was able to get one. Sounds like everything is going to [censored] with the one speaking out. The only person they can count on is the sister.

    I'm curious, do you have a chorus for this song?
    if so, what is it? This has good potential.

    the title doesn't fit I don't think.
    By reading this caption from your song,
    The title should revolve around the sister,
    as it does in the caption.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello again,

    Title suggestions:

    " Tell me sis."
    " Sister-last hope."
    " pacifying sister"
    " Matriarch sister"

    I don't know, I do think it does need to revolve around your sister or the sister.

    There is more to it as well to right?

    this is a work in progress.
    | Posted on 2005-06-18 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Every..... written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Summer written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]