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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tell - NOW ONLINEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cindergarden1
    ASL Info:    18 Male Sweden
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 43/58/17
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 713



    Description:
       Another of my songs...
    Autobiographical... to a point. Poetic license :P

    The song is an acoustic fingerpicked guitar and an harmonica. Alas, the harmonica isnt on this live recording. Copy/paste the link. Don't click it. THat won't work.

    http://www.angelfire.com/de3/liverpoolfc/Tell.mp3

    Key: Em
    If you have a G-harmonica, enjoy!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTell - NOW ONLINEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sister said I'm losing grip
    Tell me what I'm holding on to
    Brother, you're a sinking ship
    Can't tell you how much I love you

    Mother said I made her proud
    But that was long ago now
    Conscience speaking way too loud
    Since I shut my mouth

    Tell me, sister
    Doesn't it hurt in you, too?
    Tell my mother I still love her

    Lover said she's leaving me
    Don't know why she bothers
    She says she needs to be free
    But it's the same pain with the others

    Tell me, sister
    Doesn't it hurt in you, too?
    Tell my lover I still love her




    Submitted on 2005-06-17 18:37:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a cool song/poem. I went through it a couple times to make a beat for it. Fortunatly,
    I was able to get one. Sounds like everything is going to [censored] with the one speaking out. The only person they can count on is the sister.

    I'm curious, do you have a chorus for this song?
    if so, what is it? This has good potential.
    -mike

    the title doesn't fit I don't think.
    By reading this caption from your song,
    The title should revolve around the sister,
    as it does in the caption.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello again,

    Title suggestions:

    " Tell me sis."
    " Sister-last hope."
    " pacifying sister"
    " Matriarch sister"

    I don't know, I do think it does need to revolve around your sister or the sister.

    There is more to it as well to right?

    this is a work in progress.
    | Posted on 2005-06-18 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    63234

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