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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stupiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cindergarden1
    ASL Info:    18 Male Sweden
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 43/58/17
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 642
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1073



    Description:
       Autobiographic ballad...
    I really am this stupid! My gf left me (but not before cheating on me) and I can't make up my mind on whether I want her back or if I want to leave town and disappear. God I'm emo. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStupiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm sorry for the way
    I hung up that day
    But it's still hard to speak

    I'm sorry for my words
    I know they still hurt
    I'm stupid 'cause
    I'm waiting for something
    to make you come back home
    I miss you but I'll try to make it on my own

    This time I'm gonna run till I pass out
    I'll take the easy way out
    I'm going to run for something new
    While I keep waiting for you

    I know this is the end
    But I cannot pretend that I am over you
    Pretend that I feeling better off

    I'm sorry for the kiss
    I thought your smile said "yes"
    I'm stupid 'cause
    I miss you! It's hard to let my feelings go.
    I miss you but I'll do better on my own!

    Because this time I'm gonna run till I pass out
    I'll take the easy way out
    I'm going to run for something new
    While I keep waiting for you




    Submitted on 2005-06-17 18:44:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'd like to how this sounds w/ music...these are good lyrics...you're just full of strung emotions pulling you which ever way..but don't worry 'cause everything, in the end, will be okay...keep up the writing!
    -stacey-
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
      These are awesome lyrics! i love the part that says "I'm gonna run until I pass out". It's odd because that's exactly how I felt when I went through my last breakup. like I just wanted to run and run and run until I couldn't breathe, until I passed out, until I couldn't think anymore. That really reached out to me. because that's the perfect phrase for how I was feeling.
    But as far as the greater issue in mind... I think you might have to let her go, man. Clearly she's looking for love elsewhere, and you can't force that love that you shared before. I learned the hard way that everything happens for a reason, and even if you don't understand what that is now, this is a clear sign that you have to let her go. Usually the hardest choice is the best one, and if you look through your piece again, I think you'll realize you've already made your choice.
    God, I'm going through the same thing. I've been separated from my boyfriend for more than a year now, and I've moved on, but I still love him in my own way. And if he ever asked me back... well, I'm not confident that I'd say no. I still love him, and that will definitely alter my judgment.
    My advice: don't try to stop loving her. You might always love her, no matter how much or how little, the love might never go away. But try to stop EXpECTING her. I can't tell you the number of days I spent waiting for my boyfriend to come walking back through that door, and it never happened.
    You can love her still. But not in the present tense. Not in a way that you wait for her to come back. Because you might be waiting for the rest of your life.
    Keep the memories, but let HER go. Because I don't see that you have any other choice. She's already gone, already made her choice. Don't spend your life wishing for her to change her mind.
    All my love to you, buddy. I know where you're at, because I'm there too. But it won't be forever.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by WolfStar | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a good lyrics indeed, I liked it. I don't think I have read anything for you before but I think I might read more after this!

    The lyrics was well written with no spelling mistakes (I didn't find any), and that is a very good thing because spelling mistakes takes alot from any write!

    Of course the subject isn't new but the way it was presented was sincere and it being a true story or a true situation added to the beauty of the poem because it made the readers feel you and that is what poetry is all about.

    The chorus or the part repeated in the lyrics is good and repeated only twice and the second time was the finale which is a good choice too, saying;

    "Because this time I'm gonna run till I pass out
    I'll take the easy way out
    I'm going to run for something new
    While I keep waiting for you".

    One thing about this lyrics is that you used "I" so many times! About 17 times or so!

    This lyrics reminded me of a poem of mine called "Which Way To Go", it's discusing a similar situation (a true one), but there was no cheating! I'm talking about the confusion whether to forget or to forgive or to run!!

    I think that you can run but you can't hide! And I also think that there is no cure for CHEATING! A cheater is ALWAYS a cheater!!

    Anyway, I hope that you find my comment somehow helpful to you and I'll end up saying Good luck and keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. First, I'd like to say that I'm sorry about your girlfriend leaving you. You seem like a perfectly nice guy (especially with the comment you left me). Why would she cheat on you? That's just downright mean. No one should have to deal with being cheated on.

    I'm going through some stuff with my fiance right now so I understand where you're coming from here. And I offer my deepest sympathies.

    I like the sincerity of this piece. I like how innocent it comes across to the reader. I think I'll read more of your writing.

    Much love to ya. And good luck. I hope things work out for the best.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty good dude.. Reminds me of a John Frusciante song. I mean not like ground breaking.. but one hell of alot better then any lyrics i could ever write. I think you conveyed the point rather well. And this was an interesting piece.
    Ive had this happen to me before.. My first love way back when i was 16.. It sucked and it was [censored]ed.. I moved away to live with my parents.. two years later i moved back and we dated again... same thing happened heh. Women seem to have a devious manner about them sometimes.. but oh well i still love her somewhere deep in the depths of caved in casyms of my heart..
    Good luck on your future endevours.
    Ratio M Ducet III
    | Posted on 2005-06-18 00:00:00 | by Ratiomeducet | [ Reply to This ]


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