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    dots Submission Name: Changesdots

    Author: the_one_behind
    Elite Ratio:    2.82 - 3/5/2
    Words: 256
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 994
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1656

       Don’t look for answers, they’ll come anyway, just be sure to remember the questions...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Hearing mostly sounds of lust
    Bathing all your thoughts in thrust,
    Thus thyself will be the one
    Dividing dust from mist of time.

    In the end of the beginning
    Life still melting in its bleeding,
    Shaped by colors of the night
    You seek hope in morning’s light.

    Candle’s light now is so odd,
    Too bright for it is not,
    Pale, boring shout in night;
    It is so different, now the light.

    Hearing sounds that push in you
    The driven force of do and show,
    Whispered words that are so near
    Fainted sounds you cannot hear.

    And there you find yourself again
    The same spot, nothing to gain,
    The one to listen is yet unheard
    But often seen as one to hurt.

    In front of light, you spread the dark
    Shallow thoughts that only bark,
    And ask yourself: Why can’t they see?
    The true source you ought to be.

    Now you fall down on your knees
    And ask for soap to clean thy deeds,
    Should the answer cross your mind
    You ignore it still, and hope to find.

    Finding out, you still have needs
    Staring down you ask for seeds,
    That hopefully would grow to be
    A better breed for you to see.

    All these seeds, so lame in purpose
    Desert sheltered by a tree,
    Crops of waste that only yield
    The purgatory’s empty shield.

    Overwhelmed by signs and measures
    Picturing the wants as treasures,
    You find yourself empty inside
    Who am I to fill these lies?

    Submitted on 2005-06-17 21:51:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Changes yes, everywhere throughout the write.
    In your discription you say don't look for the answers they will come, just remember the questions. You had two questions. The first is for the reader to ask him/her self.

    as is the second. The reader is left to answer the second question.

    I liked the flow here. Remember how W.S. flowed and made it sound like a statement was a question? Well this reminds me of that.
    | Posted on 2005-06-17 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a very peaceful poem. I read it and it was just simple but beautiful. you kept the ryhme scheme consistent, and it was written and worded well. Putting it in second person just magnifies feeling, and makes it easier to relate. I like this one, it was written beautifully! :)

    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]

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