[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: lost: civilizations and lovedots

    Author: amun
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 31/14/9
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 946
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1041

    I'm just writing because I have to..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslost: civilizations and lovedots

    lost civilizations and matters of love lost
    each ending word, a wall, a gap
    the Egytians worshipped cats
    I am much the same
    a scarab wearily rolling
    my ball of dung home.
    through Horus eye
    I see the fear she finds
    being near to me
    how denial and escape brew
    timid tears among the lace
    once woven between us.

    This day, I paint in words
    a portrait of my grief and longing
    she knew the depth of my pain
    in the hours I held at bay
    she managed to send
    a few cryptic messages
    full of holes as aging lace
    diminishes in strength over time.

    this day's tears have washed away
    the veil of wishes she might be
    I see what is..

    she knew
    and left me to cry alone
    the ache of longing
    I've comforted her for
    over and over.

    she ran, like a rabbit
    like some scared
    little imposter.

    Submitted on 2005-06-19 00:53:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This seems more like venting, or even a run on sentence. It goes in and out of being poetic. I did however enjoy the emotion and wording of many parts.
    | Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by kriley6497 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]