The Lone:Part 2 -------------------------------------------
I am only a wanderer searching for the strength i need to fight my enimies protecting all i can along the way.I have been alone and i know as a half demon many forsake me yet i find myself wanting companionship friendship even love so i can feel warmth again.I wonder why even my thoughts leave me with no ansere i wish i knew but i dont.But today led to strange feelings when i first saw her. For the first time in many years i felt the warmth i desire return to my heart and body the warmth of love. I wonder her name yet i am afraid to ask i have never felt real fear before yet this made me feel it i am afraid she will forsake me as well i know i should ask but i will wait a little longer.If i am to fall in love i want time to find out more about her to talk to her but i know little of what my feelings tell me i remain calm in look but inside i am the opposite.
I don't know if these two would really make a good story, you could be a little more creative with the creation of the character instead of having something you saw off a tv show, but that's your choice. The general concept of the story could be good, but as it is, it's not that great. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, that's just how I am. In terms of your rping in the forums, you could improve a little, you have a tendancy to powerplay and overlook minor details, your dialogue could definitely improve, I often have a hard time reading what you write. sorry if I sound overly critical, but that's how I see it. -sjatos/whiteshadows
I hope that wasen't me you were talking about. Because if it is then well lets just say you really embarrased me. Oh and it kinda sounds like the Inuyasha and Kikyou thing. You hit the nail on the head if that is what you were going for. Oh and the same thing from my last comment. Grammer Trigger! Grammer!
Submission Name: The Lone:Part 2
