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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Trappings of Sex...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: drowning_queen
    Elite Ratio:    5.44 - 245/270/52
    Words: 240
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1584



    Description:
       This was a collaboration with Big_Bill789. He's already posted it on his page. Check out his other stuff if you get a chance.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Trappings of Sex...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Trappings of Sex Without Boundaries


    You latch on to the upholstery
    Dirty nails digging into French pillows
    Your saliva stains the worn fabric
    Your breathing is harsh through the threadbare linen gag
    Blood crusts at your mouth’s corner, streaks your matted hair

    You’re beautiful like this,
    Sullied and broken under my brutal ministrations
    The metronome of the ceiling fan keeps our rhythm
    Your head thumping against the wooden arm
    Your muffled cries of pleasure only feed my hunger

    And I’m bruising you—and you want it
    And I’m biting you—and you need it
    And I’m breaking you—and you love it

    I crunch glass into the carpet on my way to the bar
    Your unconscious, cum-stained body lays discarded on the soiled cushions
    I slosh stale gin down my burning throat with indifference
    The red light of the answering machine glares angrily from the corner
    I kick your chains as I stumble past to erase it

    Your blood still pools stunningly under your pale complexion
    The leather straps cut deeply into your weakened wrists
    My teeth marks are molded acutely into your shoulder
    My fluids are drying on your skin

    You whimper, shudder, and look pleadingly at me
    I grin and move closer, enjoying your reaction
    You arch away from my hot breath teasing your ear
    But I know, as definitely as I’ve ever known anything



    You are mine.




    Submitted on 2005-06-19 19:31:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this one too. I'm not sure about all the mention of blood, but the rest is raw and very sexy.
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      What is it with you and bondage?! You just have a flair for it, I guess. Well worth the stalk. Skills, man. A tad too graphic for my palate, but perhaps that's my tender age. You combine a pinch of lyricism with a cup of shock value and it actually turns out better than expected. I want that recipe! Keep writing, girl.

    ~Later Days~
    Mel
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
      "fluids"

    Yeah, i heard that.

    A woman recently owned me...didn't see it coming. She was on top. We were in her purple bed. She clenched my hands in hers and held me down. Somewhere in the middle of it, she slid her tongue so far into my mouth....that i lost myself. I lost her 2 friday's ago...moved across the country, away from me.

    2 Saturday's ago i got drunk on whiskey, and finally did something that i am ashamed of. I had sex in a barroom, with a biker chick while her husband and his friend photographed it. I didn't know they were taking pictures at first, so drunk i didn't see the flash. I suddenly felt ashamed, stopped, and left.

    Yeah, the trappings of sex without boundaries. Don't know what desperation leads me to so much romantic misadventure....but the one i want to keep is sleeping ten feet from me...and i'm terrified that i won't be able to keep my pecker in my pants, that i'll fu.ck up and lose her.

    Life's interesting. Nice write....honest.

    I like your style.
    later,
    kc
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this poem. I felt as if I was there. Everything was clear 2 me. No brick walls shielded me. You were very descriptive. ~one love
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by InnerEnergy | [ Reply to This ]
      you have a lot of work to choose from. i don't know how to differentiate between what is good and what is bad by reading a title so i chose what i would undoubtedly be interested in. as would most people.

    never disappointed by sex as subject matter, it can, like anything controversial, draw at least something from the reader whether it is relevant or not.

    there was this artist from a while back which sticks in my memory. he was independent and not well known and i forget his name which doesn't matter anyway. but he did these fantastic pencil drawings, horrible, brilliant and completely sexually infused even though there weren't any connotations as such to be seen. like the body language of someone who needs a good f.uck you can generally sense these things a mile away.

    this piece can work like that. it was less about the sex than it was about the dirt for me. there were few references to images being soiled but it felt like i was kicking my feet through feces and i was made to believe that i was loving it. and i was. it wasn't really about the act of anything at all...it was more for me the before and aftermath. and with that i automatically reference my brain for similar memories which aren't at all similar but i can link up the desperation and need for 'the trappings of sex' like food, water & air. all of which, when needed desperately have a way of making one feel like they would trudge through s.hit to get it.
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]
      holy crap! this is so raw and primal. it makes me... a tad horny hahahah! oh my, i'm blushing now :)

    i feel like someone's just thrown a grenade into my bedroom... and i'm sitting there going "whoa, what the hell?" lol.

    i don't know how best to continue with this comment. i might just leave it at this before i continue to embarrass myself further.

    ahem. *cough cough* very much enjoyed. it's very... lascivious.
    ~patchouli
    | Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by jetstream_candy | [ Reply to This ]
      Sex w/out Boundaries-you warned us! This is disturbing, compelling & poetry & art should emotionally arouse us, for good or bad feelings. The gin swilling power hog is so distasteful to say the least-but you did an excellent job making me repelled by him in 1 short poem. If this girl likes this-well, she's in some odd territory-but sex is as odd & private as it gets. But you take us THERE very well!
    I like the break in the middle-it adds a primitive rhythm of sex (And I'm... etc.) My favorite line is "your blood still pools stunningly under your pale complexion"...and of course the killer-"you are mine"
    Dam if you do this one out, you must leave people stunned!
    Cleo
    | Posted on 2005-09-20 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      BRUTAL PASSION- it takes a really open minded person to enjoy reading sexy ass disturbing poerty like this...must applaud u by saying although the scene was a bit rough for even me, the imagery was explained really good, u had me seening eaxch and every stain, mark, bite ...
    Well done

    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-08-29 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is just wrong: its brutal, its disturbing... but I like it, simply because it's the most powerful poem I've read in ages. The conclusion at the end 'you are mine' sums it all up perfectly, this poem is all about the power that the narrator has over their... partner? victim? I can't tell whether this is about consensual sex or not... 'you want it', 'you need it' - is that the truth or is it just what the narrator wants to believe?

    I didn't paticuarly like this line either;
    'Your unconscious, cum-stained body lays discarded on the soiled cushions'
    It doesn't sound right, maybe because it's longer than all the others. Personally, I'd have removed 'cum-stained' and just left the one adjective before body.

    Other than that, don't change a thing. You couldn't make this more powerful or emotive than it already is.
    | Posted on 2005-07-02 00:00:00 | by tulip | [ Reply to This ]
      yea i just had pure facination driving me on to read each stanza. it was well written, with great description and unique observations liberally scattered throughout. i can picture this situation so clearly. nice job
    sophie
    | Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok... Unpleasant, unexpected, underbar! (Swedish for lovely)

    Gave me the creeps... Nice job. I like chocking poetry. If you like chocking poetry to, read my poem "Deicide" (which I'll post as soon I've finished this comment.

    I like how the first part seems like consensual kinky sex while the other is kipnapping nightmare... I like poems like this that use the point of view of the perpetrator. It reminds me that even the monsters are human.

    Cheers, Nils
    | Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by Cindergarden1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem makes me want to kill the author, so i guess you did a good job. You use your tools ( words) well to convey these grisley images. I want to know what promted you to write this material?????
    | Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by Shahdin | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This evokes emotions galore! Great, great, GREAT job! The only thing that I didn't really like was:

    "Your unconscious, cum-stained body lays discarded on the soiled cushions".

    It's just the word choice of cum that I am not a fan of, but after thinking about it, I don't think this poem was supposed to paint a pretty image, so maybe it fits.

    This work was deliciously morbid, and it dominated me. :x
    | Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by insipid sky | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting, disturbing, real and stirs up emotion and anger. i would say i was captivated and twice disturbed and had to back off a little because i was unsure if i would write the same way...however...it would only be 'holding back' not to, and then it wouldn't be good writing.

    you could say yeah 1/2 kinky sex, 1/2 kidnapping or abduction or whatever...but i think when you wrote this it was not meant to seem that way...i think it may be based on other things but who am i to say.

    it's amazing work. very brave. maybe song material too.
    | Posted on 2005-06-19 00:00:00 | by chalky | [ Reply to This ]
      I am a little stunned for coherent 'this is what I thought, this is what you might change' comments....purely because this poem is incredibly forceful, and it takes possession of the reader much like the narrator in the poem dominates his prey....and its just amazing....

    You've managed to capture the feelings of the dominated person in the poem, and transfer them onto the reader....almost disgusted, but compelled to read on, to have more, to push the limits further and further.....

    The extra spacing at the end gave the closing statement even more power....almost like the narrator opened a door for the reader, and let him see into this hotel room...see enough to be both enthralled and appalled...and then closed that door and shut us out. 'You are mine' can be heard from inside the room....and we are outsiders once again....

    Its very frightening, very disturbing, and very very very good.

    All the best,

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmmm... you're well worth the stalk, aren't you? Deliciously dark and graphically sexy at the same time, as always. Love the part 'And I’m bruising you—and you want it
    And I’m biting you—and you need it
    And I’m breaking you—and you love it'
    - really gives the poem some passionate, angry energy that helps carry it along. The closing line is very powerful, too. Great job, as always - keep up the beautiful work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by Von Django | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my god! Amazing poem! It's cruel and a fetish to just read this but one must because it's sexy and passionate at the same time. This is one of those few instances where everything went right. Your word choice is on the spot. just...wow.
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by azeremen12 | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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