You have done a good job of completing a 'dark' poem. It seems like I kind of got the idea of the suffering but I am not sure exactly what kind of suffering and by what cause. Perhaps you could just work on the poem a bit more and convey your initial idea better, but overall it has a good flow and cold imagery.
I've actually overdosed before, unfortunately, and there are a couple of things in this that reminded me of the incident.
"I'm scared, I'm hungry I'm naked, I'm weak Tied down with tubes And I don't want to speak Go away Please"
I wasn't scared, but I was hungry, I had to get naked and put into robes, I was weak, and I never looked more disgusting. There were iv's in my hand, I had things tied and stuck to me because of EKG's, and the worst part was drinking the charcoal...that is what leaves you hungry, it totally depletes you of everything.
"My head's against the tile The breathing too heavy My mind's wrapped in ache And the illness will levy Go away Please"
This kind of describes how I felt right before I was completely out...it was a horrible experience, one that I have written about, but haven't shared, and am thinking maybe I should now...
You did a really nice job, not having gone through it yourself.
This takes me to a place that I don't like to go. Obviously not a pretty picture and I think that is the point. Nice job on depicting it. Vivid and real sensations. I like that the scope is kept only within your own perceptions of the situation. That makes it more real for the reader. An intense read.