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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Marmalade Daydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: elephantasia
    ASL Info:    37/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 398/490/159
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1141



    Description:
       My it has been hot today.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMarmalade Daydots
    -------------------------------------------


    It is a stretchy day
    for the giant marmalade cat,
    who has deigned to grace us with his presents.

    His whiskers glint at a turn,
    and in the blink of an eye
    he coolly pads shady paws spots
    over his textured patchwork blanket.

    His lick is merciless to dullness.

    His tongue has rasped away the grime
    of gloomy wintery days,
    and painted a tapestry of brightened, brush-stroked beams
    over the hills and downs of his bed.

    A blazing, laze-inducing gaze
    causes lethargy and stupor
    to many mouses outside their houses,
    as they burn in amazed immobility.

    Held in a scorching breath of parching nature,
    They appear pleased that this marmalade cat's
    sunny demeanor stays bright,
    as his wilful tail flicks by and stirs up trivial tussles
    that break into this heated argument
    of an atmosphere.

    There is relief felt then,
    from the stifling, oppressive stillness
    of a hot and sticky marmalade day,
    as this tail breezes by.




    Submitted on 2005-06-20 07:56:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What a clever way to pay homage to the sun! lol As a cat lover (have 3) I got a kick out of the metaphor used. This was really cute and really enjoyable. Thanks for the read!
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-09-12 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      This was quite clever and very well done. It took me a bit before realizing that the cat was the sun and we were the mice caught in the it's stupifying gaze.

    Since I have three cats one orange (pumpkin) my mind was going in that direction.

    Nice write!! :)

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      this was very well written,
    the subjet.. different. not many people can write about a cat and pull it off.
    but you did!
    you made great discriptions of everything. a
    keeping the reader interested.
    Very very well done.
    Keep it up!
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw, I love this. I adore cats, and comparing the sun to one is really a nice idea.

    His tongue has rasped away the grime
    of gloomy wintery days,
    and painted a tapestry of brightened, brush-stroked beams
    over the hills and downs of his bed.

    I like "hills and downs" because it makes me think of a down comforter piled high on an unmade bed, and that does sound like clouds in the sky.

    A blazing, laze-inducing gaze
    causes lethargy and stupor
    to many mouses outside their houses,
    as they burn in amazed immobility.

    "A blazing, laze-inducing gaze" is excellent use of rhyme. I don't care much for end rhyme, but subtle rhyme is as intoxicating as catnip.
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi, Kate, well this is refreshingly different!
    I've read it three times, and the only guess I can come up with is you're talking about the sun, or summer as a whole.
    An excellent metaphor, to use the cat, with earth his "patchwork bed" etc
    pure brilliance.
    A couple of spelling errors, but I'm not in a picky mood, not after reading this delightful poem.
    Well done
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      The title is intriquing, as is the entire write. How clever to use a cat as a metaphor for the sun.. and you did it quite well.
    I guess that would make "us" the mouses??

    "A blazing, laze-inducing gaze
    causes lethargy and stupor
    to many mouses outside their houses,
    as they burn in amazed immobility."

    The whole piece was enjoyable to read. Great work!

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]


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