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lost without you


Author: fallingingreen
ASL Info:    18/f/missouri
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 136 /141 /34
Words: 152
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1082
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 963



Description:


tired and i miss lucas.. so freaking much


lost without you



words fall from my fingertips
i'm sorry, i didn't mean to hurt you
the moon is full tonight
as round and as clear as crystallized water
pounding images of memories spent with you
like a california summer power outage
my clock blinking four..
this is where i am
tired and my heart burns
from restless nights away from you
they say there is a price to pay for everything
god will make everything right if you trust in him
i'm not so sure i believe in that anymore.. in god..
i just- i miss you
and all i am
is rambling again..
i'm sorry, i have nothing for you tonight..
no words of beauty
no rivers of metaphors..
no chords on my four string guitar (two of them broke)
no melodies to sweetly sing,
all i have is..
all i know is..
i love you..
and i can barely breathe




Submitted on 2005-06-20 22:13:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  this is deep.. its like ur searchin for something n its jus outta reach n it kills u that u cant make more of an effort even tho u try everything.. hang in there <3 ash
| Posted on 2005-07-09 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
  This is really sad. I felt that the person you were writing this for has passed on. I hope not. I hope you are just suffering a broken heart which is bad enough in itself. :( *Hugs* I like the reference to the clock blinking four and you are there, aching with pain. I like the slow drop off toward the end. Really made the "rambling" feel of this come through. Good job and best of luck. *Hugs*
-blt
| Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
  it was a bit of a tough read. the rambling is a big part in it...makes it tough. and im not quite sure how crystallized water is round and full. but i like your emotions conveyed, i think you just could have done it in a better way. i like the memories, but they could have been conveyed a little better. sorry.
| Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]
  Rhiannon, so sad...
Longing for someone is hard. I have been ther too. To me it seems like you're blaming God for the fact that Lucas and yourself cannot be togetehr right now. I'm not sure thats fair... but it's also a touchy area to go into. I would love to talk to you baout that a little bit more if you want to, pm me... maybe it will help. The poetic content isn't your best but it's still a very emotonal piece and personal. I love the last line, "and I can barely breathe". I don't know why exactly but that sticks out ot me the most and I like it. Good job, I hope things brighten for you.

Much love,
-TOOoooooOoOoOOoooOoOm
| Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]


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