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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a recurring dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: slybee22
    ASL Info:    20
    Elite Ratio:    5.59 - 93/64/27
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Misc/Longing
    Total Views: 217
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 857



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa recurring dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In an instant the sweet fragrance of flowers surrounds me.
    Petals of roses mark my path, I’m careful not the crush a single pink petal.
    Beneath my feet shaded pink, the carpet feels so soft I'm walking on air.
    Then the bed surrounded by a veil of white with a hint of pink, I cannot see within but the rose petals lead me to its entrance.
    I see a figure beneath the sheets but no skin, no hair only a body covered caressed by pink silk a body moves a body so heavenly (it must be an angel but I see no sign of wings), a voice no a yearning calls out to me, I step forward and the dream ends, never do I climb into the bed nor get to the body with in, never knowing what or who lies beneath the sheets of pink silk, but that body so magnificent in its own right. This is a recurring dream I call it a dream of pink.




    Submitted on 2005-06-21 11:05:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this dream reflects upon your love of others
    it shows that when you see someone you dont judge them you take a person for what there worth there true feelings
    to see a total stranger as an angel was beautiful
    that alone shows you see the inner beauty of a
    person
    keep writing i like your style

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Your work is well named if rather cliché. You infuse it with pink, pink seeps into every aspect of it. Roses in general have been overused in poetry. I'll admit, I like roses there is something they convey that a daisy just can't manage. Nevertheless, roses have been written about way too much, I'm sick of them. The trail of Rose petals is also cliché, the last time I saw the "trail of Rose Petals" idea was in the sequel to the Nutty Professor. My advice to you would be to make your roses unique. They're pink and that is a start, try to make them more unique, personlize your roses.
    VanillaLeaves
    | Posted on 2005-10-14 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good. It was different but I really did like it. Very descrpitive. Great emotion. Wonderful write and amazing read.

    Love from within
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good. It was different but I really did like it. Very descrpitive. Great emotion. Wonderful write and amazing read.

    Love from within
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      You described things very well, makes me wonder if you're a writer. The flow threw me off a bit, it could be improved. It's a very good idea, and your vocabulary can't be matched. You portrayed a beautiful picture, i'm hoping you'll continue wirting and improving!
    Keep writing! :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a good write a pink body inside a dream wow really well done great imagiation sequence to top no other good write
    thanx for your comment on rewind some like it some dont to me its just a thought i wrote down
    thanx again
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


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