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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In the Momentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JKPS613
    ASL Info:    17 / f / GA / USA
    Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 388/377/47
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 278
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 588



    Description:
       Needs work. Help appreciated greatly.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn the Momentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Keep your head here,
    On my heart,
    Beating slowly,
    So I may forget the pain
    We once shared.
    I’ll love you always,
    I whisper softly,
    As you stroke my hair
    Between planting kisses
    On my shoulders.
    Wrap me in your arms
    I’ll lean my head against you
    I’ll listen to your breathing
    While you gently look after me.
    What is perfection?
    Is it a moment,
    Or a feeling?
    Or is it us,
    Together,
    Caught in each other’s arms
    Sharing secrets
    Of a common love?




    Submitted on 2005-06-21 13:36:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this poem
    it seems sothing and comferting
    but at the end when you ask what is perfection
    in my oppinion it is always best to come off as humbel which means do not ask "Is it I?" that line sortof throws it off in my oppinion but other then that keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem is very solace and serene... althoug i think this poem was almost purely emotional rather then using some thought or intelect is is very beautifuly written... perfect for a hallmark car or a love letter. this may not capture the world but it will most definately capture lovers and those who are very passionate. good write
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Versifier | [ Reply to This ]



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