[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Ruin Your Lifedots

    Author: HurtDeepDown
    ASL Info:    24/F/OHIO
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 165/161/42
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 776
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 787

       This was written when my mom was taking a lot of medication and had to be taken out of the house into a mental hospital due to her "unability" to take care of my sisters and I. Now she's well and prolly the coolest mom I could ask for.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRuin Your Lifedots

    Mom stares at me one last time,
    as they drag her away to a faraway uncertainty.
    The loony bin was a waste of her time,
    but I enjoyed watching her though clear wall.
    All I wanted was to smash the window in,
    so I could watch pallats of glass cut her face,
    and make her feel what I feel.
    You can't talk much to someone who isn't listening, mom!
    So don't say I don't speak,
    no matter how deep the pain is,
    nothing beats not having a mother,
    and friends who act as if they notice.
    So I'll go home to no home,
    and ruin my life.
    Ruin myself like you did,
    except there may never be a tomorrow.
    Mom stares at me one last time,
    as I smash the window in.

    Submitted on 2005-06-21 16:04:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. I never felt this strong about something I couldnt relate to. You really have a way with words... and it's so sad. Even though it expresses great anger, I almost cried. I'm really glad that shes doing better now. I dont even know what else to say. I think out of everything of yours that Ive read, this is my favorite. Wonderfully done. Once again, great job

    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a good vent and i'm happy that your mom is the coolest mom ever now. so keep writing and i'll keep reading.i really like this alot.
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by lethargic_me | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm happy to hear that she's the "coolest" mom in the world now. The poem was overall good and showed alot of emotions, I won't be to nitpicky about this one since it's very personal, its perfect the way it is. 5/5
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by MrBear | [ Reply to This ]
      It's good to vent in poetry.. writing is one way to escape... I'm sorry things are nhot going well for yuo right now. Your Mother may have not been strong but you are. One cannot get through life without pain, what we can do is choose what to do with the pain life presents us. Be happy. Today is a gift- that's why they call it the present
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]