Where Have the Fireflies Gone? by mcgovern

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Submission Name: Where Have the Fireflies Gone? dots

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Author:	mcgovern_xiii
ASL Info:	35/M/NewEngland
Elite Ratio:	4.13 - 70/91/26
Words:	175

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	213
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	979

Description:

Where Have the Fireflies Gone? dots

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The day has left me wandering,
in search of memories that I’ve left behind.
And I want to live life,
but we never change… do we?
As the darkness drips into my heart,
then cascades into pools of indifference
the night air comes to rest on the pillow of my mind.
A universe of green stars in that forgotten field of my youth
where once queens and fools were lighted the way.
All the stars they shined for you, only for you.

A galaxy captured in a jar, it slowly fades
Possessions of spoiled children who will never see their true beauty.
Added to collections of shells taken from the sea,
never again to feel the oceans mist.
They want to live life,
but we never change….do we?
Perhaps all is as it should be
and I must settle for the memory
when all the fireflies have gone.

Terence McGovern’05

Submitted on 2005-06-21 17:08:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I've read a few poems lately on Elite that have to do with cycles in nature, and remembrance. Must be the season.

Any way, on to the poem: darkness turning to indifference. That IS the way it goes, so that was an astute observation. I suppose one thematic problem i would have with the poem, and i reserve the right to be wrong, so don't take offense..please :)

Change is inevitable, 'it follows as the night the day' to plagiarize out of context. And aye, there's the rub. We don't stop seeing at all; or even run out of things to look at...but the way we see things CHANGES.

That's how i see it any way. But i don't know much.
be well, later, kc
| Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this description of memories...
"And I want to live life, but we never change...do we?" That sounds a bit sad, but why,
"A galaxy captured in a jar, it slowly fades"
Memories are lost (is that what you mean.) Our memories are the "Possessions of spoiled children who will never see their trul beauty",

Please do explain this to me if I happen to misconstrew the truth...I just feel you are saying that all we have memories, but even memories we abuse and lock away from our lives...
wait are you talking of youth...lost and gone forever because as humans, it's our nature to grow older and forget our childhood...so when we are no longer children the only thing we have to fall upon is the memories we hold of our fantasy...our own little world that we created...

"When all the fireflies have gone."

When we grow up and no more childhood games because of our responsibility.

I really like this poem, please explain it to me...
thanky-stacey-
| Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by idlewriter | [ Reply to This ]
  I really enjoyed this poem! Nicely done. I found the flow was a little wierd in places, like the second line, but that might just be personal taste. I also think the line "As darkness drips into my heart" doesn't quite fit with the rest of my poem. It seems to much like a cliché angst line or something. Other then that, this was excellent. It ties together very well at the end. What about just titling it "Fireflies"?
| Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Ratboy | [ Reply to This ]
  Of lost youth and fireflies was my take on it. It was a lovely poem. I liked the repetition of the 'but we never change… do we?' line, it seemed to reinforce what you were trying to say. I don't really have much else of a critique except it seemed to flow well. Grammatically, the line 'where once queens and fools were lighted the way', doesn't quite make sense. 'where once queens and fools HAD LIT the way', perhaps? I leave it up to you - you're the writer of it.
| Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
  I think that it's the mark of a good poet to remind us that the fireflies are there and that they are not be forgotten. You do this in such a peaceful way as though the fairies had a hand in
taking turns at being muse for you. Fireflies, let's remember magic. I saw a cage for fireflies the other day, it resembled a purse made of wire mesh. We marveled at the invention of the jar with holes punched in the lid and were magically happy just chasing them. Great job.

~amun~

| Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by amun | [ Reply to This ]

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