Description: THIS WAS ACTUALLY SOMETHING THAT WAS WRITTEN IN THE FORUM. THERE WAS A THREAD WHICH ASKED FOR WRITERS TO WRITE A POEM WITH THE LIST OF WORDS WHICH WERE GIVEN.
THIS WAS THE END RESULT. THOUGHT I MIGHT SHARE IT, AND SEE IF I GET A RESPONSE.
infinate flaw eracer
burning torment concealed within
strangle lust from the innosence
broken and worn.
purity nomore
complete abuse and indignity
another flower wilted
another life frayed
desire of life is broken
she collapses,
one last breathless sigh,
Death!
There is the point of getting the spelling correct. That would help getting the message across. And there is the case of tense agreement. IF these are addressed and mended I am sure you will not receive any sarcastic remarks on this post.
infinate flaw eracer burning torment concealed within strangle lust from the innosence broken and worn. purity nomore complete abuse and indignity another flower wilted another life freyed desire of life is broken she collapses, one last breathless sigh, Death to poetry with any real meaning?
A good string of words. Difficult to do, but you've accomplished it with a flurry. Nice way with words, some originality. "another life frayed". It should be "frayed" by the way.
Notes: It's "eraser", and "no more". Did you mean "innocents"?
Submission Name: untitled
