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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Used To Datedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rainin_Raspbery
    ASL Info:    22/F/Edmonton/AB/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.45 - 145/140/109
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1252
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 558



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUsed To Datedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your the one,
    I used to date,
    Why are you calling me,
    Now,
    This late,
    I dont wanna hear your pley,
    So Just hang up now,
    And cry away,
    Cause im gone.

    I just wanna be free,
    From you,
    And even looks and our fate,
    cause im gone,
    Im with him now so just step aside,
    find your new one

    Your the one.
    I love to hate,
    you told me lies,
    so what am i sopposed to believe.
    Just hang up now,
    and ill call you later




    Submitted on 2005-06-22 02:17:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Cool, i like how at the end,
    "Just hang up now,
    and ill call you later"
    It reveals that, although you obviously have felt a pain or hurt from this person, and ur not dating them, u still want them around... I think everyones met at least someone like that in their lives, Your glad their gone, But you miss their company i guess? I dunno, but I like it, and i think you should write more, cuz i'll read it...
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Drayke | [ Reply to This ]
      From a man's point of view, and no I'm not going to defend him. What he does once, he will do again. just keep moving forward. Don't waste time trying to love someone that ain't worth lovin.

    Dialo

    Good write.
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a bit of a choppy ride perhaps a format would help to make it more "reader friendly" but it was still a good piece...I'll tell you what...as I was reading this I was thinking...okay this isn't too orginal...we see a lot of these type of writes...hell I write them myself...but what seperates this one...is the absolute "Realness" (if that's even a word) that is contained within the last line...

    "I'll call you later"

    I'm sure to some they wont get what I see but with that one line this went from a "eh" post to a "damn" (in a good way) piece...
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      The flow was off and on here and the piece was as stated a little choppy. I got the point. Your last line contradicted the whole piece as you said I am gone then I'll call you later. Fix the small errors and you will have a nice piece.

    X
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]


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