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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Irreversibledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Von Django
    ASL Info:    32/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 119/148/32
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 274
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1414



    Description:
       Some old lyrics for an old friend of mine.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIrreversibledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Irreversible (The Flight of Our Old Wings)

    Look inside my mind
    See if you cant find
    Something to remind
    Of a time when we burned down the town, together
    Maybe talk straight
    Before its too late
    I havent sucked your blood for years
    Too tired to be a parasite
    And Im too tired to fight

    And if your emotions keep spilling out
    Cause you want to be seen, an indulgent shout
    Write another song, another bitter wrong
    Then I guess no one else hurts except you

    So youll start a revolt
    To where for what
    You know exactly what your not
    So scared of just being you
    You want some glossy wings
    I dont know where you flew
    Maybe you found better things
    Anyone can play guitar
    Maybe your just running from what you are

    So sorted, so how did we get so distorted
    In self obsession, outward depression
    And all this aggression in all we write
    Youll get too tired to fight

    Cause you want to be seen, in a world I hate
    Is it really too late,
    To write another song, about everything thats wrong
    About how to forgive means more than to take
    Maybe youve got better things
    But I remember the flight of our old wings
    We burnt the town to the ground
    You and I




    Submitted on 2005-06-22 13:27:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is great. I read all of your stuff here and this stuck out to me BIG time. I don't have a critique but i will try to be specific. My favorite line is "so sorted, how did we get so distorted". People worship songwriters and Rock stars and you just burned every one of them. That is so cool to me. It never occured to me either. Wanting to be seen in a fucked up world is so true. But i guess i am guilty of that as well. But just wondering, are you kind of talking to yourself?
    Thanks for listening,

    Angel
    | Posted on 2006-10-09 00:00:00 | by chelseagirl077 | [ Reply to This ]
      These are pretty good lyrics.. the sporadic rhyming seemed a little bit forced. however it added a diffrent element to the lyrics so it isnt bad. I liked the subject and the feel the lyrics gave off but again sometimes the rhyme parts seemed forced try to work on just letting it flow and not thinking too much about it:)
    ~*~amber~*~
    you are more than welcome to read some of my works and give a critique:)
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely done, the word "nostalgic" fits this to a tee.
    I don't know who this is aimed at, but if it's the people in the crrent lyrics "war" going on here, it's nice to see someone use talent to try and heal, rather than destroy.
    Nice song,
    Well done
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I love the non existant rhyming pattern. I mean it I actually do. Very fresh.The lyrics are good illustrating not a single moment but months of relection. I find that they have a good way of letting the reader twist and augment the meaning of the lyrics to fit their life style. I'd be interested to hear what kind of music would be put to them.
    -Catina
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by Boom-boom | [ Reply to This ]



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