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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Depressiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950



    Description:
       depressed....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDepressiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Depression returns,
    full force,
    plummeting me,
    taking me to my knees.
    Darkness rolls in,
    drowning out the light,
    that was in my horizon.
    Redemption seems so far away this time.
    The break in the black clouds are smaller,
    fewer,
    soon to be none.
    No matter how fast I run,
    the sadness will always catch up.
    There's no place to hide,
    where I won't be found.
    It is part of me,
    this dark aura,
    though, at times unseen,
    is always around me,
    always haunting me.
    I want to claw my way out,
    out of this skin,
    out of this body that is my enemy,
    my grave.
    How do I escape this pain,
    it is my soul.
    My destiny is sadness,
    for there is no escape.
    Depression has stolen my only identity,
    this darkness is who I am,
    and who I'll always be...




    Submitted on 2005-06-22 15:54:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Although I can definately relate to the ideas/emotions that this piece expresses, I think you could make it much more compelling and powerful if you didn't actually say that you are depressed, but hid every thing in an impenetrable cloak of imagery and poetry.

    nice work though, I hope you feel better!
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]
      The first two lines hit me hard
    This was quite good
    Alot of powerful imagery
    And good wording
    One suggestion- (No typos or anything)
    "Depression has stolen my only identity,
    this darkness is who I am,
    and who I'll always be..."
    Maybe "the darkness is who I am"
    Or maybe its just me-
    Either way, great write
    Best of Luck to my #1 fan
    Big Bill Sinclaire-
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Big_Bill789 | [ Reply to This ]


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    63822

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