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i do.

Author: shes automatic
ASL Info:    17/f/ky
Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 47 /62 /13
Words: 178
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1006
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1005


pretty much self explanitory.

i do.

Do you lean close into the mirror and just cry?
Do you cut yourself, just hoping to relieve any ounce of pain in your life?
Do you remember each and every stroke of the blade as you run your fingers over the scars the next day?
Do you even remember why?
That rush of pain that you needed so quickly and you weren't rash enough to give a valid reason.

Do you fall asleep at night and become saddened at the thought you might wake up in the morning?
Do you hate yourself so much that you can't pass by a mirror without thinking the words:
I hate you.
Do you watch the blood run down your arm and not even bother to wipe it away?
Do you re-open old wounds to relieve yourself of the pain you've been wanting all day?
Do you long for the cut, when you sit in class while everyone laughs and lives?
Do you hide your blades in a bag along with your feelings?

Well guess what?
I do.

Submitted on 2005-06-22 17:42:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  well I never knew how bad things were at one time I hope things now are better for you and i knwo I haqven't helped with all this sometimes but i hope what's happening between us now doesn't make u think that
| Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]
  This was really brave of you. I've done a few of the things myself, but I was always too afraid to really do things such as this. I didn't cry in front of the mirror, it seems I have a hard time getting myself to that release of crying. I would just stand and stare at myself in the mirror so long and wait for my face to become all distorted-looking while my hands were shaking... But, that doesn't matter, really. I really like this poem. It brings back a point to me, how some people crave the pain because they don't think they can get anything else. I'm now trying to keep myself from craving it... I had the temptation to cut a couple of days ago, but quickly put it from my mind. Keep up the writing girl... it's all so good.
-Adaria <3
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by Adaria | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! this was really sad - So many young women struggle with these overwhelming feelings - particularly self hate and loathing. This was very brave and I hope the write helps.
This certainly had an impact! As dorky as this sounds - keep your chin up - hurricanes and tsunamis will subside! and you will appreciate the beautiful person you are inside and out!
| Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
  ...i have been there many times and i am now getting help for it...i really hope that you have found a new outlet for your pain other than acutting because i almost killed myself by that and i do not wish that kind of pain upon anybody...i am here for you if you need to talk to anybody
| Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by endmypain | [ Reply to This ]
  This was really unique. You really picked a subject that society calls "wrong" and gave a reason for why it was "right". I think that's a hard thing to do and still keep the emotions. You did great. Keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
  It sounds a lot like angst. The images are gripping and it represents it uniquely. Try to write it without writing it as questions to see if you get better flow and it might make it stronger, in ideas, as a declaration. Great job conveying the imagery & emotions.
| Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by literary lover | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, hun! :( I'm sad. *HUGS* I wrote a piece about cutting, something I've never done, to try to understand it. It's called Again. I think I still have it posted. :S It's a release I guess for people. I just hope that those who do do it find another release before it's too late. <3 I'm here for ya girl! Good piece.
| Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice poem.It scared me a bit to see this is the way you feel and soemone out there feels this bad.But,all in all,it was very good and I definatly enjoyed reading it.
| Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]

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