I like how you depict the separation after you recollect them being together. You seem to lose the flow and rhythm of the poem in the last stanza. Your word choice is eloquent yet earthy. good potential.
This was great. Sort of depressing. You alwayz have a way to write in a "depressed" way. This is very heart felt and I think it has a lot of true meaning. I've noticed that you don't like to ryhme in your poems. I like that a lot. I have to rhyme or I get way the [censored] off. lol. Oh...you need to e-mail me 2. Jess gave me her phone number so I might call there. Hope you're there.