Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: give me foreverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 671
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       what i want in the simplest of terms


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgive me foreverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i want to leave life knowing
    we took all chances, and lived it up all the way
    that loving you was the reason for living
    that you gave me forever in a day

    give me romance forever
    and like the diamonds in the sky
    when we leave this life, i want
    our love to leave it's ghost behind

    and when the sun sets
    upon our last breaths forsaken
    i want your hand in mine
    i want my heart forever taken




    Submitted on 2005-06-22 22:23:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is beauiful, I absolutely love the wording you have used here.
    "I want our love to leave it's ghost behind"

    The last verse impacts me the most, but maybe if you structure it differently:

    When the sun sets
    Upon our last breaths forsaken
    I want your hand in mine
    I want my heart forever take.
    But any way you go this is an excellent writing and I look foreward to seeing more.
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by kriley6497 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Touching.
    This is how love should be captured. You painted us a picture of this love, that filled any cold heart with warmth. You have a way with words, and a was with describing things. Awesome job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good love poem.It captures the meaning of the word love very well.The wording was great.Idk what else to say.It's left me speachless.
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    63876

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Giving written by jjd
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Incubus written by monad
    Wavelength written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Linger written by saartha
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To written by SavedDragon
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry