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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: give me foreverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 646
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       what i want in the simplest of terms


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgive me foreverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i want to leave life knowing
    we took all chances, and lived it up all the way
    that loving you was the reason for living
    that you gave me forever in a day

    give me romance forever
    and like the diamonds in the sky
    when we leave this life, i want
    our love to leave it's ghost behind

    and when the sun sets
    upon our last breaths forsaken
    i want your hand in mine
    i want my heart forever taken




    Submitted on 2005-06-22 22:23:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is beauiful, I absolutely love the wording you have used here.
    "I want our love to leave it's ghost behind"

    The last verse impacts me the most, but maybe if you structure it differently:

    When the sun sets
    Upon our last breaths forsaken
    I want your hand in mine
    I want my heart forever take.
    But any way you go this is an excellent writing and I look foreward to seeing more.
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by kriley6497 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Touching.
    This is how love should be captured. You painted us a picture of this love, that filled any cold heart with warmth. You have a way with words, and a was with describing things. Awesome job.
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good love poem.It captures the meaning of the word love very well.The wording was great.Idk what else to say.It's left me speachless.
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by ArtichokeMosher | [ Reply to This ]


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