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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: On the Floordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/The pain inside
    Total Views: 550
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 851



    Description:
       I actually did write this in my garage on the floor


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOn the Floordots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is me, and within me is pain
    I donít know where it comes from
    Except perhaps, from lifeís heartbreaks
    Perhaps, I feel things too deeply
    And




    Pain

    This deluge of never-ending pain surrounds me
    Trapped to them, for blood has bound me
    To those who forever
    Will never
    Understand me
    And the tears soak in my clothes
    And the walls endure my blows
    As I drown on the floor in my garage
    Ache of infinite grief encircles my life
    Wonít let go, it dominates life
    From that which is ever
    Not better
    In my life
    And the depths of sorrow does grow
    And the blood from wrists do flow
    As I die on the floor in my solace

    I crucify myself on my own cross




    Submitted on 2005-06-22 22:24:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the imager in this poem is brutal and gloomy... i like it. i also enjoy the allusions u placed in this poem and although its one " im so alone" away from being one of those "i hatetheworld poems" it was an emotional peice... thanks for posting
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Versifier | [ Reply to This ]
      Ending=Excellence.
    Usually endings are too blunt or too well . .blah. . yours was about perfect. You surrounded you pain, and shedded it on us. I wasnt sure about a line or two with the rhymes. but i perfer rhyming things other than just words. 2 thumbs ^
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]


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