Feigning Life by Indelible

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Submission Name: Feigning Life dots

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Author:	Indelible_ink
ASL Info:	18/F/AZ
Elite Ratio:	5.7 - 141/107/23
Words:	148

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	323
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1029

Description:
I changed the style of my writing here, just experimenting. I'm sure you don't need an description for this one, it's pretty obvious. Feedback please!

Feigning Life dots

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Uprooted flowers of vivid shades
Hairs entwined in golden braids
Dancing with gleaming sun rays
Intertwined with charming decay
Ones apart of this renegade
Living life of the feigned

Life and death make a connection
Stabbed; blood flows from reflections
Time sprinkles on the dormant soul
So days will pass, with life annulled
Life weeps, its meaning betrayed
Living life of the feigned

Death wears a persuasive mask
Zombies master the morbid act
Puppets cut their own strings
Not everything is as it seems
Death will come out and play
Living life of the feigned

No love for another, yet the heart still beats?
No burning passion,yet the lungs still breathe?
No will to imagine,yet the mind still works?
The once straight road, now in a fork
A Question asked in many ways
Who is living life of the feigned?

-edited twice

Submitted on 2005-06-23 11:13:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Beautiful (ofcourse you know I am a fan of Death-themed poems) - really good idea (on which I have been trying to write a poem these days) is the 'disgusting' contrast you showed in the 4th line of the 1st stanza.
Well, I think your experiment has worked, and I would be really pleased if you started evolving your writing in this style.
later
| Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by shoggoth | [ Reply to This ]
  This was peaceful. Yet then...turned DANGEROUS!

You have a way with expression that's for sure. I like that I can get away from all the "Elite Drama" and come to pieces like this.

Good write.

Dialo
| Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
  very well written forgot to say i like your picture display this post has so many extremes of life and death and has some very deep meanings great write and very enjoyable to read i took alot of poems off my site today as they will appear in books i will be introducing sandman to the world with 4 to 5 books in spring 2006 if all goes well thanx for all your comments
sandman
| Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like your descriptive language. It's very hypnotic & I can't help but read it. We have a writers group at our school & we all joke & say our motto is "All about death!" You'd fit right in! I don't like how after all that descriptive language though you seem to ask the question rather simply at the end. You have really good talent & style. I've enjoyed reading your things & thanx 4 the comments you've made on my stuff!
| Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by literary lover | [ Reply to This ]

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