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    dots Submission Name: Feigning Lifedots

    Author: Indelible_ink
    ASL Info:    20/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 143/109/25
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1135
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1029

       I changed the style of my writing here, just experimenting. I'm sure you don't need an description for this one, it's pretty obvious. Feedback please!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeigning Lifedots

    Uprooted flowers of vivid shades
    Hairs entwined in golden braids
    Dancing with gleaming sun rays
    Intertwined with charming decay
    Ones apart of this renegade
    Living life of the feigned

    Life and death make a connection
    Stabbed; blood flows from reflections
    Time sprinkles on the dormant soul
    So days will pass, with life annulled
    Life weeps, its meaning betrayed
    Living life of the feigned

    Death wears a persuasive mask
    Zombies master the morbid act
    Puppets cut their own strings
    Not everything is as it seems
    Death will come out and play
    Living life of the feigned

    No love for another, yet the heart still beats?
    No burning passion,yet the lungs still breathe?
    No will to imagine,yet the mind still works?
    The once straight road, now in a fork
    A Question asked in many ways
    Who is living life of the feigned?

    -edited twice

    Submitted on 2005-06-23 11:13:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Beautiful (ofcourse you know I am a fan of Death-themed poems) - really good idea (on which I have been trying to write a poem these days) is the 'disgusting' contrast you showed in the 4th line of the 1st stanza.
    Well, I think your experiment has worked, and I would be really pleased if you started evolving your writing in this style.
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by shoggoth | [ Reply to This ]
      This was peaceful. Yet then...turned DANGEROUS!

    You have a way with expression that's for sure. I like that I can get away from all the "Elite Drama" and come to pieces like this.

    Good write.

    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by Xtremebiter | [ Reply to This ]
      very well written forgot to say i like your picture display this post has so many extremes of life and death and has some very deep meanings great write and very enjoyable to read i took alot of poems off my site today as they will appear in books i will be introducing sandman to the world with 4 to 5 books in spring 2006 if all goes well thanx for all your comments
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like your descriptive language. It's very hypnotic & I can't help but read it. We have a writers group at our school & we all joke & say our motto is "All about death!" You'd fit right in! I don't like how after all that descriptive language though you seem to ask the question rather simply at the end. You have really good talent & style. I've enjoyed reading your things & thanx 4 the comments you've made on my stuff!
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by literary lover | [ Reply to This ]

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