I dont think this sucks at all! You should take more pride in your work, it is quite good! This is so sad and heartfelt and I can relate to these feelings, I have been there! Time really does tell all you know. If it was meant to be than it will be and if not time will tell you. Better to know and move on than to live in some fantasy! Life is too short. Anyway, nice poem! Take care!
This wasn't bad at all! You expressed the painful longing in a very real and poetic way. It's really nice. You know what I mean. I totally understand how this feels also. It's the crappiest feeling in the world-especially when there's nothing you can do. But as stated previously, if it was meant to be...it'll be. Hang in there! Candi
This is not bad at all all you expressed yourself, something that's expected in poetry... I can relate to this cuz I have lots of email buddies and when one of us doesn't log on for a long while we start to wonder.. are they ok? did I do something wrong? is the contact slipping away?
Good day mate. This was a pretty heart felt longing poem...so in that sense it was good...the rhyming seemed a bit generic/cliché, but other than that you done just finey fine mmmmmmmmk? :)
I don't know...the rhyming in this seemed very forced and that disrupted the flow of this. I would try to re-word some of the more awkward phrases such as "losing my internal drive"
I wouden't know how that feels, but I almost came close to something like that.
Are you writing from personal expeirences. Or did you just wright this cause you felt like it? Then if you did than that means you are kinda like me. Some of the stuff that I write are not from personal expeirences. I just write what ever comes to mind. Keep writing please!