[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Willow Treedots

    Author: VanillaLeaves
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 101/110/23
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 802
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 884

       this poem was based off of Anne Sexton's poem "Lobster." It uses the same format and structure.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWillow Treedots

    A handful of broken fingers,
    a piece of Demeter&#8217;s crown,
    the willow tree mumbles to the wind and water
    an old woman lost in a storm,
    gathering the melodies of graying sand
    until gradually the wind wears her down
    admitting ants to crawl beneath her skin.
    Somewhere a child embraces a maple tree,
    allowing the sap to anoint her face,
    Somewhere blind mystics read the secrets
    inscribed in the bark of oaks,
    Somewhere pine trees chant
    in a rustling of perfume soaked needles.
    Of this the willow knows nothing
    she is a sage of lake and wind,
    a hermit on a barren shore
    who, as the world erodes her
    inside and outside, will fall
    one with her lake
    one with her wind
    as wood and leaves become
    a translucent film on the sea of eternity.

    Submitted on 2005-06-23 16:49:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was lovely!
    Beautiful and affecting imagery. It seemed to speak of loneliness and isolation. Unsung and unappreciated beauty. But yet perhaps secure in it's natural environs.

    Well, anyway it was a wonerful write! :)

    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful imagrey.. we need more nature poems at this site. I only have one suggestion- fix the 2nd line.. I think it shd be an apostrophe instead. Otherwise keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that was a really good nature poem. I don't rad a lot of nature, but that was really good. I've never read anne sexton's poetry, but it sounds like a good read. your words were enchanting, that really got me going, Excellent piece of work, I hope to see you post more of your poetry!

    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok for the first thing. It had some grammer errors. But that happens to the best of us. Another thing. I am kinda confused here. But oh well. The auther always holds the true knowledge. Who am I to judge your ideas.
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by akaietowa-ru_18 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Emily, this turned out a lot sadder than I had expected, almost signifying the fragility of ourselves and the inevitability of death.
    I don't know if you meant this, but I also see the diversification of the human race depicted in the different trees you write of, each with its own purpose and reason for existence.
    I also saw the death of the willow and the "rebirth" as the young child embraces the maple.
    Maybe I read too much into it, but that's not a bad thing, either.
    Great poem
    Be Happy
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]