Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Murder Ensuesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mixedemotions00
    ASL Info:    21/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 561/361/63
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 336
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 568



    Description:
       OK-- I know this is crazy, but it was fun. Enjoy. :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMurder Ensuesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The glint of the knife
    Evil look on my face
    I’m taking a life
    Right here in this place
    Press against the soft skin
    Feel the flesh break
    A scary, growing grin
    From the pleasure I take
    See the red flow
    A sudden wet rush
    Slice again and again
    Watch red liquids gush
    Done with the job
    Wipe my sticky red hands
    Slowly lick my fingers
    Sweet on taste glands
    I feel a bit guilty
    And it’s messy, I know
    But how much fun it is
    To slice a tomato!




    Submitted on 2004-04-09 19:19:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A load of fun - this is the kind fo stuff I've come to expect form GOBALATA, mostly. ;) I can see you being all murderous and wicked and all, and then snapping out of it to see you standing there inncoently licking yoru fingers. Classic. But I agree, you should change your title or description or soemthing so it doesn't give away the surprise. ;)

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-04-09 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      this is quite funny! your description is great! my suggestion would be to change the title so that your reader is taken by surprise at the end. if i didn't know any better by the title, i'd think the writer was killing someone!
    | Posted on 2004-04-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great. the title was intriguing and it made me laugh. you expect something depressing and in the end you get a laugh. yay
    | Posted on 2004-04-09 00:00:00 | by Rosalynn Annett | [ Reply to This ]
      Favorite lines:"Press against the soft skin
    Feel the flesh break"
    It's suspenseful till the end where you surprise your readers with an innocent twist, and that's why this is so good, slice on.
    | Posted on 2004-04-09 00:00:00 | by Mort Macabre | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.