[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: bittersweet romancedots

    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 388
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 720
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2539

       wow, this is ancient. i'm saying older than my gradeschool teacher ancient. older than dirt, that type thing

    i still really like it...it could use some editing i know. any and all comments are appreciated

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbittersweet romancedots

    things thrown
    pictures ripped and torn
    her silent sobs louder than screams
    the silence increases as she smashes her things

    a wrapper from a candy bar he gave her
    smells of the chocolate sweeter to her than any perfume
    and her weeping fills the room
    and the walls take her abuse

    you unknowingly stole her heart then dropped it
    it shatters as she whimpers and cries
    tears brimming from her eyes like brimming dark oceans
    enough for her soul to drown in the lies
    but not enough to wash off the graffiti
    that heís tagged so crudely onto her heartís walls

    she listens to him on the phone
    and comforts with sincere words she doesn't mean
    don't worry, Iím the only one who knows you're blind
    if this is the way youíre going to live your life
    not knowing what you could have
    only wanting what you can't

    she silently hopes, hopefully waits
    she wishes on stars, folds her hands and prays
    for the chance that she knows won't come
    would you rather want something you cant have
    or have something you don't want?
    she tried to speak, but couldnít use her voice
    her heart (and you) didnít give her a choice

    you see that smile on her face?
    and the sparkle in her eye?
    it's because of you, and I guess you know why
    but that sad smile is from hurting acceptance
    and the sparkle from unshed tears
    she lives everyday
    knowing the only thing she wants can't be hers

    and your smile wasn't from the girl who confused you
    or best memories from the girl with your torn up heart
    your laughter wasn't from the girl who used you
    but you'll think that anyway, no matter what

    chances arenít made; they're given
    are you feeling generous today?
    so right now you have a taste of God's position
    able to give what a hopeless girl prays

    yet how she cries, and accepts the truth
    lives her life
    her love for him proof
    some things can't die even when killed
    you're the reason for the tears she spilled
    from useless love that wont end
    to the scars on her heart that won't mend
    From a happiness that she's forever parted

    a bittersweet romance he doesnít know started

    Submitted on 2005-06-23 23:13:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      your the most talented 14 year old i've heard of...but anyways i was a little confused at times but the way you use your words is amaziing...what it had to say was good too cuz so many people are like that, good job
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by EmilyAnne | [ Reply to This ]
      You're 14...& this piece of writing is ancient you said? It's pretty well written! I am so happy b/c I love this piece; your description is amazing & Im just addicted to the story that this tells. You have talent. Thanx again 4 your comments 2!
    | Posted on 2005-06-23 00:00:00 | by literary lover | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Bond written by saartha
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Push written by JanePlane
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]