Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Moi? Insane? Pfft!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indelible_ink
    ASL Info:    20/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 143/109/25
    Words: 385
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 1505
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2232



    Description:
       Okay, comedy.........yes....comedy......wow... I actualy wrote comedy. Okaaaay, hope you guys get a laugh, and if you didn't say you did! okay!!!

    j/k...please give me some feedback! thanks!! :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMoi? Insane? Pfft!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I chortle at your thoughts, so exceedingly strange
    With those mindless insinuations that I am insane
    You perceive me all wrong, with your inflexible mind
    Where all must go straight, but I like squiggly lines
    For where you have the common two eyes, I have four
    One for the soul, one for the heart, for my head two more
    Yes, Your ideas so incredibly inane
    For even the mention that I am insane

    You puff up with pride, “I have evidence!” you proclaim
    That I was chatting with my reflection in the windowpane
    I smirk at the implication; you make it sound so queer
    Actually, I was just telling it, it looked better in the mirror
    To tell you a secret, I just wanted it to leave me and go
    Twas raining outside, my reflection was getting soaked,
    Nevertheless, I’m not a Good Samaritan, I believe I did lie
    For it was obstructing my view, and I wanted to see the outside

    Do you think I’m mad, because I thank the darkness now and then?
    But darkness helps me in hide n’ seek, wouldn’t you want it as a friend?
    Or is it because every time you ask me to tidy a spot
    That I turn upside down and say, “Dirty? It’s not!”
    But don’t you see the ceiling is always pristine
    And if the world was reversed, we’d never have to clean!
    Is it because I laugh when I’m sad?
    The tears tickle my face; they always have.
    See there’s all this proof, that I’m not at all insane
    And your impractical proclamations are in vain

    You scratch your head in confusion, frustrated you stomp your feet
    Pointing that finger at me, demanding that I should see a shrink
    I just wag my finger, No, it wasn’t to exercise my joints
    I was just telling you simply “That it’s impolite to point”
    For where your eyes are like a telescope,
    To see the beauty of the sea and look above unto the stars
    My eyes are like a kaleidoscope
    Where beauty comes to me, and I don’t have to look that far
    You tear out your hair as if it were attached to your brain
    I stare at you now, and I believe it is you who’s insane




    Submitted on 2005-06-24 17:27:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes this is clever and cute. Something i don't normally enjoy - i'd leave a longer comment, but I think alot have already touched down on what I would say - although different from what I usually dig, I do like this.

    `Ryan
    | Posted on 2006-03-16 00:00:00 | by 27_deadpoets | [ Reply to This ]
      Uh oh. You remind me of me! But I'm not insane, no. I was probably two steps away from writing something like this myself. And yes, I got a chuckle out of this, especially the line, " I smirk at the implication; you make it sound so queer
    Actually, I was just telling it, it looked better in the mirror." Something about good rhyming and rhythm makes a joke even funnier.
    And if you are insane, it's better to be that way than to be sane. How boring!
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]
      This was cute. Very deep humor. If one doesn't follow along...they can get lost in it. That is rare to find. You showed talent in this...great talent. I liked it!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-07-07 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      clever, and very very smart my friend. lol. you was that bad kinda smart, like that ignorent kinda smart, how you didn't see how they could be mad at you. it was the coolest piece i've read in a while. funny [censored].~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-07-04 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was clever. it was kind of 'shakespeare' comedy to me.

    I smirk at the implication; you make it sound so queer
    Actually, I was just telling it, it looked better in the mirror

    this part was weird though. the end words were kind of awkward to me.

    kaleidoscope comparison was unique. it symbolizes the narrator to me.

    lovely.

    -soomie
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this its fantastic , just defines what i always thought , that theres should be no such word as "normal" because who is it , i dont know.
    fantastic job Lainie
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      very clever writing, it had me following along, waiting for the next funny/witty remark and I was a bit sad when it ended. I could have read a bit more, however, your lenght is spot on. Sometimes I overdose on things, this poem being one of them.

    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I have to comment on this. Like Shakespeare said " Insane, or not insane?.. (or was that me?). Oh well, I really enjoyed this piece and have to say it brought a smile from deep within. I love the 2nd stanza, so cute! And the last stanza has some really clever and cute bites.
    These lines are magnificent...

    "Pointing that finger at me, demanding that I should see a shrink
    I just wag my finger, No, it wasn’t to exercise my joints
    I was just telling you simply “That it’s impolite to point”
    For where your eyes are like a telescope,
    To see the beauty of the sea and look above unto the stars
    My eyes are like a kaleidoscope
    Where beauty comes to me, and I don’t have to look that far"

    Wish I had thought of them.

    A great write. Take care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this and thought it was insanely funny as well. The ending was spot on. Like Dave Mustaine sang, "If I know I'm going crazy, I must not be insane." Keep 'em guessing and thinking, ya know? Very well written and an enjoyable read. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this! I was especially thrilled by the telescope-Kaleidescope comparison. While everyone seeks beauty, few bother to make beauty out of what is placed before them. The whole kaleidescope image alos goes with the persona who tells the poem, his/her brilliance is scattered about like the bright colors of a kalaedescope:ideas and imaginings spewed across the brain in one gloriouse mass of chaos. Yay Kaleidescope!
    ~VanillaLeaves
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by VanillaLeaves | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the content of this poem is very good, the wording is excellent. I just think it started off flowing quite nicely and then lost its rythem and made it hard to read. Other than that, good work. loves xx
    myth x
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by popular_myth | [ Reply to This ]
      This definitely made me smile! I love it because me and my friends are always telling eachother that we're insane. The thing is, I think that everyone has insane tendencies. Anyway, this was so cute! Awesome job!
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one. It reminds me of the Father William poem in the Alice books. It might seem insane, and maybe it is, but there is always a semi-rational reason. ^_^

    ~Birdie
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by MaeBirdie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    64115

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry